Advice please

[Alex1212]

Hi all, I have been feeling quite low for over a year. I had baby last year and it was amazing experience, but I can't find joy anymore in the things we used to do( holidays, sports, or meeting with friends etc). Sometimes I get very angry over silly things and feel overwhelmed. Communication with my wife isn't great, I hardly talk in the house and I feel terribly guilty about it. I don't know if I am depressed or not as I eat and sleep in regular way, my performance at work is ok. But I can't shake this low mood off and I feel it is effecting my family. Any advice is highly appreciated. Thanks

[furgus]

It sounds like depression to me. Problems sleeping and eating, in each case either too much or too little, are symptoms of depression but there are others and not everyone suffers from all of them. Not enjoying things is an important indicator that you may be depressed, it's not just about feeling low. Not getting enjoyment from things that you used to enjoy can very quickly lead to asking yourself why bother to do them when you know you won't get any enjoyment. Similarly feeling angry, if that isn't normal for you, is a sign that something isn't right.

It's good that at the moment you are still coping at work but that may change if you don't do something about it. Have you been treated for depression in the past? If so you probably have some idea whether medication or counselling might help. If not think about what treatment you would accept/prefer and if you feel able to you could go to speak with your GP. You should also consider that some physical problems can cause depression so it could be a very simple fix not even needing counselling or medication.

There are simple steps you could try yourself such as trying to make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, cut down on drinking (if you think you might be drinking as a form of escape from your feelings) try to do some exercise, even getting out for a walk during daylight can help. There are a lot of websites to get some suggestions but it's a good idea to speak to your GP as well as attempting to do these things.

[Alex1212 in reply to furgus]

Thanks a lot Furgus, i might sound stupid, but I am feel awkward talking to the GP about it. Growing up, in my family we have never talked out loud about our emotions or things that bothered us directly to other people , I know it is not healthy, but it is quite a barrier to overcome. Thanks again.

[mysmugcat in reply to furgus]

Great post

[Olderal]

Hello Alex, many "GPs" in the USA feel that depression is becoming an epidemic which constantly increases. In the UK there are also signs we are following this trend so the low negative feelings you have are something experienced by many people. The sensible advice is to take more open air exercise , maximise social contact, and have regular and healthy sleep habits. Thats all very well but I know also how difficult that is when one has lost the joy and interest we should have in life.

I would also say, as you seem aware, that as a young married father ,you have a great responsibility to regain your zest for life. If it is depression you don't seem too badly affected which is very good news. A recent TEDx lecture I watched on this subject made a lot of sense to me and I'll give you the details in a short post following this one.. It impressed me enough to order the guy's book and I'm a veteran of depression (about 40 years of it on and off )

Olderal

[Olderal]

The book is (see above) "The Depression Cure:the 6 step programme to Beat Depression" by Dr Steve Ilardi. If you search youtube for TEDX Steve Ilardi you should find his short lecture. As I say it made a lot of sense to me.

Olderal

[Satsuma in reply to Olderal]

I shall take a look at that myself Olderal .. Very helpful replies from yourself and @Fungus (not sure why your name does not light up) .. I hope Alex1212 you get some healing going

[Olderal in reply to Satsuma]

Hello Satsuma, I'm really delighted that things seem to be going so much better for you. I think the names only light up if the person will soon be undepressed.😋

[Satsuma in reply to Olderal]

I, thank you most kindly .. I am happy to see you active here when I have popped on

[sophie123456789]

wordpress.com/posts/soumyas...

This is my condition when I had a new baby. I penned it down for my own sake. I am a mom, so our circumstances may change but I think every parent goes through this phase. Good you reached out for help. Hope my blog helps you. I need to still update it though.

Thank you

[Hidden]

You *could* try some technique first (design your own). Here's a story you *might* find inspiring ...

Once upon a time, there was a man he was terribly unhappy. Someone told him that he should go and see this wise man outside the village for advice. So he went.

The wise man asked him what his problems were. He made a long list about the problems at home with the wife and the children.

When he finished, the wise man asked him to buy a goat and take it home. He didn't understand why but did it anyway.

A week later, he went to see the wise man again and told him it did not work, the bloody goat was making his life hell and how it made a mess in the house and in the garden. He had to spend day and night taking care of it.

The wise man sent him away. A month later, the man returned and said he couldn't take it anymore, it'd gotten from bad to worse.

The wise man then tell him, "Sell the goat now and go home". The man sold the goat and went home. He could not believe how wonderful it felt. He's forgotten all about his previous problems !!

=========

“Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.”

― Hans Christian Andersen

==========

PS Distraction might work?