Can't live like this anymore!!

[Rebecca1126]

I guess this is a cry out for help... My depression dips that low I just can't take it anymore, crying all the time, shaking like mad feel/being sick I just hurt so bad inside and can't pinpoint the reason or anything that triggers it. I really can't take it anymore!! Every medication I'm put on there is ups and downs but the downs always over ride the good!! Please someone tell me everything is going to be ok!! My 3 babies need me

[Mandy6513]

Oh sweetheart , everything IS going to be ok.....

Your having a really crap time right now and i dont know the reasons why but i bet its been the pressure of Christmas, the miserable dark days, the stress of money, being tired from taking care of children, being let down by people, being hard on yourself, things that have happened in your past, things that you feel you missed out on, feeling alone, being worried, thinking nobody cares ..........Does any of that sound familiar because your not on your own we all have some crap but we can help each other through it.

Rebecca, everything is going to be ok x

[Suzie40]

Hello, perhaps what you need is something additional to medication? In my experience it was a combination of medication and talking therapy that helped me to start feeling better x

[Robbie138]

First you should make an app with Dr, how old are your 3 babies, do you have family, friends who live nearby who can come over for a cuppa and chat. When you have a quiet period in your day or evening write down things that are bothering you, and making you hurt maybe you are on your own to much apart from the babies, you might be lacking adult company, And things that you like to do that can make you smile and lift your spirits. I know when you are down you feel nothing can make you smile but you are lucky you have 3 beautiful babies and I'm sure each and everyone of them can make you smile at least once in the day, try and take the positives out of your little ones they rely on you for everything you are their world you are their mummy nothing can be better than a little hand sneak into yours or a couple of arms snuggle round your neck and gorgeous baby kisses, you have everything around you to make things better. Please don't think I'm a person that only sees the positives in life, I see the dark side too and I know if you get so low it's near impossible to get back up there and am speaking through being where you are. The babies grow up so fast you will wonder where time has gone and it's better to enjoy and remember the good times than look back and wonder. I hope this helps a little always remember nothing is that bad that we can't fix it even though when we are so low it doesn't seem like it. Love and hugs Robbie 138 x

[Rebecca1126 in reply to Robbie138]

Hi

My eldest is 7 then my 2 boys are 3 and 1. They are my world my everything they are what I live for!! Your rite I lack adult company it's just child talk for me all day. Do you have children? I have just said to my partner who is currently playing on the ps4... I feel so down and mentally poorly I can't deal with this again and his reply... Bex just relax and stop over thinking everything. That's all I get, am I over reacting or does he just not get it one little bit?? The good things in life seem like nothing to me when I feel like this (apart from my children) my pills make me so poorly I need to go get them changed for the 6th time. What do you do to cope? Shit isn't it. Thank you so much for your support ... Sometimes just to read people saying think of the positive especially people in my shoes helps a little xx

[Findingme in reply to Rebecca1126]

Men are thick when it comes to this sort of thing. (sorry Bob, present company excepted of course) Not only that but if they see you looking miserable their first reaction is to flee.

Don't tell him you are desperately miserable as men cannot deal with that, but tell him you want him to be romantic, or tell him it is his turn to watch the kids for a few hours and go and get a haircut / massage / go for a walk. Tell him you need a night out and if you don't get it you will put the PS4 in the bath. Well, maybe not the last bit, save that for if you get nowhere with asking nicely.Maybe give him the choice out of two options, so he has less chance to refuse. If he does what you say, reward him with something like a hug, or his favourite food.

It is definitely time to retrain him, and the only way is to calmly make it clear what you want him to do for you, and be firm but kind, and reward good behaviour.

[Robbie138 in reply to Rebecca1126]

What lovely ages I can see why it can be difficult for you with the boys being so young , and you probably do the school run too. Why is it that men sit on they ps4 and don't see what is going on around them they totally tune into the game and nothing else matters. I don't think you are over reacting being so down and physically washed out its telling you your not coping, you will have to go back to Dr and tell them how you are and that you don't feel the tablets are helping. Their are many tablets out there it's just finding the right one for you, and it's horrible for you having to go through all the bad side effects to realise in the end they are no use. I always take a new tablet at night till I get it into my system then change to morning because if I'm going to have the side effects well at least I'm sleeping ( my doc said that's fine as I'm still giving them a try ) I'm not good with new meds. When I felt bad if kids were still up I used to lock myself in bathroom and have a soak and tell husband to watch them I'm not saying it washed everything away but it was like my little heaven where I can have some peace and relieve the tension of the day. I love my boys with every bone in my body and now I'm onto grandkids and love them the same, but every now and again we need time out from our kids and it doesn't make you less of a mum you are seriously needing some time out for yourself, you are that low you can't see any bright times ahead you can't even remember the last time you had a good laugh.l wish you had someone you could talk to and tell them how you are feeling by rights you should say to your partner right ps4 isn't going on tonight until you listen to me ask him if he can help a bit by getting kids ready for bed or something that would help you a bit, I think you are maybe doing to much on your own regards kids you can accept help no one will think any less of you everyone needs help now and again and I'm afraid you feel you can't let anyone see your not coping it doesn't make you all of a sudden a bad mum In fact I think if you ask for a wee bit of a help people would only be willing to give you a few hours to do something for you. Give it a try... I do know what you are going through believe me I was with my boys 24/7 but even I had to learn to ask for help. My youngest was a handful and I remember going to Dr and saying I'm going to murder him I just couldn't cope I was so low crying all the time and the Dr turned round and said no your not you are not capable of such a thing that was 33years ago and he's grown up to be a lovable caring dad who is daft on his girls. Sometimes I'd be on the ph crying to my mum that he (Barry ) is doing my head in and she would send my dad out for him lol he really was a little monster where as his big brother Gordon you never knew he was around so quiet and played away fine. Please ask someone in the family or friend if they can help out one day and have some me time and see if your spirits lift even for a little while and I no one day isn't going to make miraculous changes to your life but it might give you a chance to see what you can change. I'm sorry if I went on too much I just hope this helps in some small way let me know what you think and even coming on here if this helps good at least getting it out there hopefully relieves some tension. Find a mum and toddler group get adult conversation.

Take care Rebecca 1126 good times are ahead for you and the family . Robbie 138 x

[vinit_tyagi]

Hi Rebecca,

I am sorry to hear that.

Like Robbie 138 suggested, make an appointment with Dr as a first thing.

I had a similar situation last year. That's when I joined this community. I was crying all day and night. But I always had one thing in my mind that it will get over one day. Which did happen and I am normal now.

I went to GP and my blood tests revealed that I had severe deficiency of vitamin D. I started taking vitamin D medicines and strengthened my belief that this will go away one day.

I wish you all the best.

[Hidden]

Rebecca I hear you really I Do! I get the same dips and sometimes just want to give up,was like that yesterday and this morning but feel a little bit better today, With depression you will get ups and downs and yes it can get better but that's up to you , find a way to vent your frustrations talk to someone who understands what you are going through, find which meds make you feel shaky or give you bad side effects then tell your Dr make them listen and Do not bother about the Drs ten minute rule. Sooner or later you will be able to cope better. And hopefully Even get rid of your depressive feelings

[Rebecca1126 in reply to Hidden]

I don't even bother telling the docs much now they give up on me (well that's how it feels) I just want a good pill that's best for me. No1 understands that are around me and feel like everyone just gets at me. I'm so tired of it mentally stressed and fed up!! Glad your feeling a bit better. Depression can make you feel like a totally different person from one day to another.

Thanks xx

[Hidden]

Hello Rebecca

We are all the same when stressed, Not knowing you and the problems you are having does not help me to say all will be ok.

All I can say to you is generally many of those with Depression and anxiety all suffer negative feelings.

You really need to discuss your fears with your GP who can make an appointment with a CPN. who can help and talk out your concerns.

Are you taking medications ??

BOB

[Rebecca1126 in reply to Hidden]

Yes I'm on venlafaxine atm. They make me sick and shake very bad so another trip to the docs for me!! C

[Hidden in reply to Rebecca1126]

If you have been on the medications for near on six week you need to return to your GP and discuss your contraindications.

If you do not feel at peace with the drug make that appointment.

Generally on site people will wait to make sure the drug does not work.

Giving time before going back to the GP. The problem is the medications do take time before you will feel the full benefit.

If you keep changing it may take longer to get that relief

The choice is yours, I do not know your situation

BOB

[Skahadiva]

Hey Rebecca, how are you doing today? I'm not going to tell you that everything is going to be okay because I know that doesn't help me any; it's a hard thing to believe when you feel like you're barely hanging on. I do want to say that I know this same feeling. I'm lucky enough that it isn't unbearable every day, and I hope the same can be said for you. All I/we can do is remember the better days to help us through the hell ones and to try to keep ourselves safe. I have spent time in the hospital after a suicide attempt, and I can say that for me, family and friends have been amazingly supportive and have changed how I think about suicide. It's my hope for you that you have family and friends right now who you could get involved in your life. Talk to them, let the know what's going on. If they're not there for you, you have your on-line family here, and we'll stand by you. All the best.

[Rebecca1126 in reply to Skahadiva]

This is such a lovely message Thankyou for your support. I am now coming off venlafaxine because it was making me very poorly and they are going to put me back on fluoxetine because they don't no what else to do. Today is a better day for me but I can tell I'm on the road down hill until my medication kicks in(that's if it works) my kids are still keeping me going❤️!! Hope you are well and thanks again xx

[Clover34]

Hi Rebecca

I really can relate to you I also have 3 children and I suffer from anxiety and depression

Ifor you ever need to talk I'm here hun

xxxxxx

[a6625388222]

You sound just like I feel. But I'm 77 years old, financially drained with two daughters, two g daughters and 3 gg granchildren. The only one i ever see is my y daughter although the oldest one live cldoe. She never has time to even talk and the g daughters might as well be non existenct. I have devoted my life to all of them but Ii might as well be dead and wish some times i would go to sleep and not wake up. I worked until 3 years ago at a job I loved and still did excellently but the company pushed be out for younger people. I have not one thing to do all day except sit due to finical limitations and I'm so deptessed. I try to tell the children how sad I am but they say you need to get help but I'm so tired. I ca'nt even deal wjth it. I'm just ready and have given up.

[throwaway33333 in reply to a6625388222]

This made me so sad to read... you sound like a wonderful person and I'm so sorry your daughters aren't being more proactive in reaching out and that they're not making you feel appreciated. I'm sure it's not that they don't care -- just that everyday life has a way of getting in the way of what's important. I'm sure you've already heard this advice, but perhaps you could go volunteer in your area. That will give you something to do, won't cost you a dime, and it'll make you feel like you're working again (with a set schedule and people who depend on you).

In any case, I just wanted to say hello and wish you all the best. I noticed this post was made 2 months ago so I assume you're still active on this forum. I wish I could help in some way or offer a solution but I'm depressed, too, so I don't have the answer. I hope things improve for you and your family takes the time to visit, support, and listen to you. I'm very sorry and I hope you have a much better 2018.

[a6625388222]

Thank you. It was made two months ago but things are the same. This just a bad day for me. I'm so stressed out with financial worry and many other things I'm not coping at all. Anxiety will kill you and it has almost got the best of me. I'm on medication and have seen counselors. Somehow I am not dealing well at all these last few days.

[Peter8]

Rebecca God will help you!!