What is the point?

Hi, i'm at a point in my life, when i'm wondering what the point is?

What is the point in 'existing' as opposed to 'living'?

What is the point in asking for help, for it not to be forthcoming? (still waiting after 4 years of being referred, and have heard nothing).

What is the point in having reference ranges for blood tests, if they are ignored?

What is the point in keep trying so, so hard to make something of a life, but can't even get the smallest amount of support?

What is the point in 'living in fear' of the next renewal for E.S.A.?

What is the point in being alive, and plagued by so much emotional and physical pain and distress?

I know this is probably sounding like a 'woe is me' type rant, and it isn't meant that way, i'm just so tired of being so frustrated that it leads me to tears.

You will have also probably worked out that today is a particularly bad day for me.

Hope you are all doing as well as you can be?

Thank you for having me, and listening..

[sweetiepye]

Chelle, Although this is a friendly supportive community it is also a woe is me place where you can rant or moan and let it out. People here know exactly where you are, having been there already. It is a journey . I think what you're really asking is what is the point of living. There are many ideas about this but to keep it simple this is what I think. We are here to become selfless, to learn to love and care for others. To always strive for understanding and to serve mankind. Adversity makes you a stronger person . This is not easily done , but it gives your life purpose and satisfaction. Give it a think and let me know how you feel. Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

I am selfless, I would do anything for anyone, I also care very much for other people, not sure what you mean by serving mankind? I get great satisfaction from helping other people, just wish the same could be said when trying to help myself. Thank you for taking the time to reply, and reading my post.

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

Chelle, I wasn't implying that you don't care for others, I was pointing out what I think life is about. Everyone has their own belief system. I want you to know that you need to love and care for yourself before you will have anything to give to others. I don't think you have to do anything spectacular to serve mankind, I believe every little kindness you do serves the world. Here is to kindness for us both. Pam

[WhiteAlice]

Chelle, it's ok. You must be very frustrated. You're trying hard to move forward but the system has you standing still. Don't give up. Let us be supportive until you can get that help you need.

[Hidden in reply to WhiteAlice]

Thank you, it means a lot to have support..thanks for taking time to reply..

[Hidden]

Just the fact that you have taken the time to reply helps more than you think..thank you..

[Hidden]

For those wondering, I am NOT suicidal, i'm just sick of trying to help myself, and having door after door slammed in my face. There comes a time when you say no, I can't cope with this anymore. I also think 4 years waiting for high impact psychotherapy, and having heard nothing, not even a letter to say that I am on a waiting list, is less than acceptable, I feel like i've been abandoned and left to 'get on with it', as if I don't matter. When i've tried to ask my g.p. about it, he just said "you'll just have to wait". I don't want to increase my antidepressant, I would rather try and tackle my issues via therapy. See, it's a nightmare.

[Biggles22 in reply to Hidden]

Why not find out the contact details of the psychologist and check it out yourself. You could just phone your surgery and ask for a copy of your referral letter.

[Hidden in reply to Biggles22]

I have changed surgeries since the referral was made.

[spykey]

Hi chelle1

Welcome to our Warm, Supportive, Friendly and Zion-judgemental forum!

I'm sure you will find our members helpful & encouraging and we will try & support you as much as we are able!

Warm Wishes Take Care spykey 🤗

[Wildhorses2]

Hi chelle1

I know exactly how you feel (I am not suicidal either) but what is the point? I try so hard but end up in the same place plus the burden of guilt that I am being so selfish.

Sorry I can't help but you are not alone.

Wildhorses2

[Delzek in reply to Wildhorses2]

Good reply, I am sure you have helped just by being here and replying ! Help does not mean waving a magic wand and making the pain or anger dissapear ,it is taking the time to read and give feedback you would be surprised how much doing that can help!

[Delzek]

After reading your post I thought that i have posted almost the same question in my rather unclear way! We are all Waiting some for treament that "May or may not work" we are all waiting to get better, we are all waiting to live not exist in this hell that gives us physical or mental pain! (Pain is pain whether mental or physical, some people refuse to acknowledge that FACT). But really "What are we waiting for?" I am not suicidal just bloody angry at myself for not being able to beat this! I have never ran away from a challenge but this is one challenge I no longer beleive I can win!

[Wildhorses2 in reply to Delzek]

Hi Delzek

I understand your anger but you (and me) should not be angry with ourselves, this is an illness a horrible cruel disease that we have had inflicted upon us. You need to show yourself some compassion, don't give up we are not failures we keep going as best we can

Take care. Wildhorses2

[Elsibells]

Can you try to afford to pay privately for therapy? That's what I've had to do, and the lady I'm seeing offers a lower rate for people who may struggle with a weekly bill. Also, local groups - are there any? This website is fab. I'm a big fan of mindfulness and yoga. Sadly, public services are under such pressure that getting any sort of referral through to fruition is near on impossible. Then of course you may only get a certain amount of sessions or input and not be seeing a the sort of therapist that's best for you. It's a very personal thing and I like to be in control of who I see, else it may be detrimental and not at all helpful. I guess it's about prioritising ourselves, and we are our own best expert. xx

[Hidden in reply to Elsibells]

I had my lifetime award of D.L.A taken away from me when the move to P.I.P., was forced upon me. Of course I didn't score any points, and the assessor lied through her teeth, (as proven in the report) so having been through tribunal and lost, I am struggling to pay everyday bills, so going private is unfortunately not an option. Nice thought though..I don't cope very well with groups either.

[Elsibells]

Oh no, it sounds like it's a terrible situation. I can understand why you're so angry and frustrated! I'll have a think 💭 and get back to you if I have any bright ideas 💡 xx I'm sorry I can't be more help

[Hidden in reply to Elsibells]

It was indeed, it has left me in quite a mess..You have been very helpful, for which I thank you very much..

[Delzek in reply to Hidden]

I am waiting for PIP the esa woman said during interview that due to my ailments physical and mental (PTSD agoraphobia and depression)my case was fairly straight forward, so the move to PIP would not need an interview. She did show me her report and recommendations ie from low living to extended and to keep my high/extended mobility component! It seems even tribunuals do not know the rulings as far as mental health issues are concerned so it is worth appealing the lower tribunuals findings,my neighbour just has and won a 12 month full backdated award with the recommendation he is to be left alone by the DWP for the remainder of his life! He not only has severe mental health problems he is riddled with cancer! First tribunual agreed with assesor he did not qaulify? But upper tribunal disagreed and he won a full 12 month back payment! He has used it towards his eventual funeral!

[Lauravm]

This sounds like you are going through a existential crisis, I am pretty sure I have been through one of them! They are really not fun, but they don't last (or at least mine didn't) nearly everyone goes through times when they don't see the point in anything, but then you realize you can change that, and find the point to things! Just think since you are here, you might as well make the most of it! You deserve a great life, so go out and get it! Nobody knows what the point to life is exactly, but they find something to do so it feels a little less pointless!