What next.

[Gemg72]

Hi I'm new here not sure where to start, about 9 months ago I felt everything getting on top if me. I've always worked and found that I just was coping with anything very well I was running out of the office crying and shaking and feeling sick so I went on sick I then quit my job and got another job that I thought would be easier but lo and behold 4 weeks laters I quit that job 2. I'm now claiming ESA I've had my medication upped to 200mg of sertraline and feels like I'm not getting any better. I'm numb all the time I'm constantly worrying about how other people see me and the pressure I'm putting on my family. I've had meetings with a mental health nurse but I just don't have confidence in anything anymore I feel like I've lost who I am. When I try and speak to the doctor I see someone different every time and I don't feel like they take me very seriously I'm good at putting on a brave face but it doesn't mean I feel ok. I don't know what to do next.... I've got such a supportive partner and family when I'm with then i can see a glimmer of hope bout when they go to work it goes away again. It's so frustrating! Sorry if I've bored anyone think I just needed to vent.

[Gambit62]

Have you thought about contacting Mind to see if they have a local group in your area and when they meet - just to provide you with a supportive environment.

Was there something specific that kicked off the anxiety or what ever it was at work that meant you couldn't cope?

Has your GP(s) looked at anything that could be causing the 'depression' eg thyroid or B12 deficiency? These tend to lead to a loss of energy as the day goes on ... ie the depression feels worse in the evening.

Doing things is important - one of the cruel things about depression is that it reverses the link between wanting to do something and doing something so you need to do something before you feel like doing it.

Meditation also helps some people - mindfulness and understanding a bit more about the difference between you and the continual succession of thoughts that go through your head ... and learning that you don't have to 'react' to every thought that comes into your head.

It may be that there is a charity in your area that does a back to work scheme for people with mental health issues - something that will help you regain your confidence, which is obviously a bit lacking at the moment.

[Gemg72 in reply to Gambit62]

Thanks for replying, I've been to see someone at mind but I struggle opening up and pretend that everything is ok. I've always been really independent so I struggle opening up face to face and explaining how I feel. I go out to walk the dog during the day but my partner comes with me. The doctors have done different tests but nothing showed up that could be causing this and they then started me initially on 50mg of medication. I just feel like my life has stopped and everyone is passing me by. I had a career was earning good money and bags of confidence and I've lost it all now because I couldn't control how I felt. It's just frustrating because I always thought I was strong but I've become a shell. Sorry for going on and again thanks for getting back to me

[Gambit62 in reply to Gemg72]

Hope that you do manage to find the courage to open up.

[21esme]

Hi,

Welcome to the site. Firstly, so you know you aren't alone, what you have described and how you have felt is very similar to how I have felt this year and my experiences. I know you don't like opening up or like to feel in control or strong but you do need to be honest to start to feel better. Now isn't the time to put a brave face on. I saw about 7 different GP's in my practice this year. Is there one you like who you could go and see? Then really explain everything honestly. They won't judge, they have seen it before. Have you had any counselling? I've been told that counselling with medication is most effective at helping symptoms. I've chosen not to take medication (never say never) but I wouldn't have stood a chance of feeling better without counselling this year. It has helped guide me through how I have been feeling. Has your GP diagnosed depression and general anxiety? I would discuss your medication if you don't feel that it is working. There are other alternatives especially for helping to manage anxiety.

This journey isn't a quick fix and I have felt huge frustration at not being me anymore and feeling lost. But your recovery will take time, so be kind to yourself and accept the frustration.

Sarah xx

[Gemg72 in reply to 21esme]

Thanks sarah, it's good to know I'm not on my own. It's a nightmare at the minute with my doctors the 2 people to ran it have retired within a few months of each other so now I don't know who I will see its someone different everytime and they can't guarantee who's going to be in. Yeah I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety I went to see a mental health nurse and she asked me which I would like to tackle and I said anxiety thinking well at least I can get back to work but I just feel like I'm just in a big loop.

How are you feeling now?

I've not really had counselling where they listen I saw someone who gave me tools to try and make me better. Maybe I should speak to doctor to try and go down that route.

Thanks so much for replying

Gem xx

[r1980s]

I feel so like you, the thing is i know how these tablets affect you they affect me the same way and ive stopped my medication but dispite the low mood and feeling really bad at least im not num anymore !!

Im told by everybody not to just stop this drug sertraline tabs 50mg 1 a day. But like i have said at least i can feel. !

[Gemg72 in reply to r1980s]

I get that completely its crossed my mind to try and stop but I think I've got to trust someone and doctors have said that I need to keep going and if it's not working then try something else. Maybe go back to them and see if they can change the medication so it suits you abit better.

How long have you been taking the meds for? I've been on mine now 8 months and started out at 50 and now I'm at the maximum of 200. I've got to give that a go for 6 weeks ish and if no improvement then we will look at changing.

Hope your ok and thanks for replying.

Gem xx

[r1980s in reply to Gemg72]

Hey Gem i have been on anti depression tablets a very long time, i was taking citalpram i don't have it in front of me if it spelt wrong sorry an they helped me a lot in a very desperate time to but i guess i just got use to them like all drugs,

I had a real bad car crash in November 1998 a long wile back now since then so things take there toll as they say, specially as i'm in chronic pain all the wile,

It do become a struggle when you find out the real way this dam world works that contributes a lot to my mood.

I shouldn't feel like i should say as i don't want to make any other person suffer, but when i here what bill gates had on the cards for the hole world because this man is so power hungry, he was the person who got the H1N1 virus out there it made me sick to my stomach for 1 and 2 how can some one person have that much money and power to literally put a fake flue virus out there that makes woman sterilised for 1.

The big worry is people just don't do there research and they do put there trust into doctor and health care professionals but then this cold virus was meant just to give out this vacancies to sterilise as many as possible ! I am sorry i hate talking about this shit because even if this is all fauls but there is evidence to back my words then its a mental health nightmare !!

It gets me there are far more cruel things going on in the world than my worries about stuff in this nature but everything starts from somewhere and i all ways get to the same group of familys involved in some way.

If you are interested in looking or studying then just look up some of the names of family's i have in my first question.

It àll money power and greed im afraid to say.

Its all bad new no good and im to far down to come back to think that there is any good in the human race if these group of people keep ruleing are lives.

The system is broken and they say it is a new slow reverlustion. Sorry my spelling is very bad dislexix.

Take care.

Ray :/ sorry, i feel bad but who ive spoken with in the past, lets just say its a movement people need to know what these 1% are doing or 3% its not even a lot.