Ive come to the realization...

[Iluvhorses]

Hey everyone i have posted here before, but its been awhile. Im always lonely and craving affection and ive finally realized why. Its because i dont love myself. How can i stand to be alone with someone who cant accept me especially if that person is myself? How can i be in a room full of strangers and expect to feel loved if no affection is coming from me? Most of all its really hard for others to love me when i dont feel the same way about myself.

[WhiteAlice]

Ah, Ilovehorses. You've discovered the secret to happiness. Now, let's see why you don't love the most important person in the world to you: you. Are you a basically good person? Do you want to be happy and want others around you to be happy? Then you are a person worthy of love. Say my new mantra with me: I am worthy. I am strong. I am enough. I am loved. We love you. Here's a great big virtual hug for you!🤗

[Iluvhorses in reply to WhiteAlice]

Thank you. I needed to hear that

[Muunie in reply to Iluvhorses]

I read that positive affirmations really do work. They work by creating new neural pathways and then strengthening them by the repetition. By not thinking 'I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself' those pathways become disused and reassigned to functions that are being used more often. The brain is a wondrous thing.

[Iluvhorses in reply to Muunie]

I agree. Every night before i go to bed i say i love myself. I even say it out loud lol. Thank you.

[Findingme]

Having grown up shy, I often found myself rejecting people who seemed to love themselves. I thought they were quite disgusting. This made it hard for me to say 'I love myself', as I thought it made me as bad as them. However, since then I realised there is a big difference between truly loving and caring for yourself, and being an arrogant and self-centered Ass. A person who has high self esteem has no need to brag about themselves, or put other people down. In fact I think I was mistaking arrogance and insecurity for self love. These people are probably just as insecure and self hating as I was, but they chose to act in a different way to me, that's all.

So why am I writing this? Because I think that so often we are advised to become someone, or behave in a certain way, and if the meaning of the advice is not explained, the advice can do more harm than good. I would really like to hear what people think is an appropriate expression of self love.

Here are some of my thoughts on self-love

1. Do not say negative things about oneself.

2. Do not put temptation in front of yourself if you are trying to live healthily.

3. Do not put yourself in a position of danger

4. Do not do things which will harm your prospects in life

5. Do not beat yourself up if you make a mistake.

6. Do not allow other people to treat you badly. If they do, then stand up for yourself. If this does not work, move on. Do not stick around to get revenge as it hurts you too, and is a waste of your precious time.

Can anyone else suggest some more ideas here?