trying to adjust

Hello everyone who is reading my post. I hope you are all doing well.

I would like to share some information about depression which I have never had before in my entire life. I am from Central Asia where I grew up and raised, moved to US 6 years ago because of my husband and our child. Since I moved here I started missing my family, friends, food, traditions, language, parties etc. I started to cry and seeking some friends to do some fun stuff. Since then I still feel empty inside, I made friends, I understand American jokes, traditions but still not the same. I am becoming a different person I get mad easily (not like a happy girl like before), get feelings hurt, feeling alone, feeling everyone hates me...it is not easy to be American in 6 years and act like them, I know I am a different personality and I am Asian but I need someone to help me to how to be my self not trying to change for others.

Be honest I don't want to take any antidepressant, sometimes my husband calls me I am a bipolar, evil which doesn't help me to be better.... :(

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10 Replies

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  • Hello Bouquet777,

    Welcome to our friendly Forum here on Health Unlocked, we're very pleased you've found us.

    I'm sure our members will reply shortly, so do check back.

    Very best wishes

    Chloe

  • Thank you!

  • Could you ever relocate back home again?

    With your husband or by yourself with your son?

    I understand a little of how you feel on a much more minor scale

    I moved from a big Northern UK city,on my own, to a rural area 400 miles south

    No shop at all for miles,beautiful scenery,but spent years asking myself what i was doing here?

    I now have grown to love this area but still miss the life of a city and always will.

    Your husband needs to be more understanding and non critical

    Are there any other Asian ladies you could be friends with?

    When I was at school,many years ago, i had a good friend from Mumbai

    She also took many years to adjust to the different culture.

    Do hope you get the help and friendship you need

    In your new home area and on this site

  • Thank you Jennyjolly, I appreciate your time and help!

    I was thinking to go back to my country but we moved here because of my husband who also missed his country USA and our child needed to have a good education and better future in her country, it is only me feeling like an alien. I found an Asian community where I feel like they are my family but I don't hang out or see them and talk to them in every day basis like I did before with my friends in my country. Here in US everything relays on time, if I want to visit or call or talk there is always schedule and I really don't like it, I know we all work but friendship or visitations shouldn't be scheduled. why people don't like to show up at the door with nice flowers in their hand and some sweets? why can't I show up at their door? when I do it is a different reactions...we are becoming robots, work, eat sleep...I want to do a lot of fun stuff with happy people. My husband always sais I am American - I cant be like you so I don't count on him. I am also planning to visit my country this ear by my self but my husband wants to go with me...let's see how it goes. :)

  • You sound a really great person with the right priorities.

    Pity we aren't more welcoming in the West

    Wish you and your family every happiness wherever you live.

  • Thank you! I believe the Depression comes from the loneliness

  • Hello Bouguet, I'm an American so I won't be insulting anyone except fellow Americans and they can handle it. Americans are odd in that they are very friendly to most people, they will tell you semi personal things about themselves, maybe invite you into their homes and be social with you, but don't make the mistake that they have truly accepted you. They draw a line and only let you in so far. I think the women more than the men, so it can take some time before they accept you for who you are. They/we like people but we're very self protective. We know the world is critical of us and we are sensitive to that. I want to write more, but I have an appointment. Your home sounds very warm and wonderful. I'd want to go back too. Pam

  • Thank you sweetiepie! You are right, Americans are very kind and loving people and it is true they are so protective and I totally understand that. I grew up where neighbors come in or stranger is knocking your door asking some directions where my parents ask that person to come in to have cup of tea so they can give a stranger the right direction, that's how people get to know more people where you have more connections who became your friends. We are all have fears and inner thoughts but we are still humans on the other side of the door. We need to give a chance to each other at least to communicate but not judge who we are.

    I hope you have a good day and thank you very much for your honest reply! :)

  • So, I'm back from the Dr, it was a waste of time. Back to getting use to living in America. Six years is a fair amount of time is there anything else that could be bothering you ? Would joining a group or taking a class be helpful. I know most of my friends were made through my church and my job. I don't think you should try to turn into an American, but stay your warm sweet self and be the exotic one in your neighbor hood. Show them there's more than one way to do things. Be the teacher, not the pupil. Pam

  • My dear, open your heart to JESUS first! All the problems of life are sorted by and with and only with GOD. Your feelings of emptiness will reduce once you accept Jesus into your life, worship him read his words - the bible. He will make a way for you! even with restoring joy in your home. God is a miracle worker! JESUS is the way the truth and the life. My dear, there is no other way to have a fulfilling life in God. Find a good church attend and meet like minded Christians who will shower you with the love of GOD. God is the only way! only only way! DO NOT BE DECEIVED OTHER WISE!

    I love you! so much sister!

    And Jesus loves you more!

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