Im not living

Hello. I have been diagnozed with depression and ptsd 2 years and a half ago. I don t go out from the house. Maybe twice a week for 10 minutes each to buy groceries. I was in CBT for few months which damaged me more. Anti depressants. My situation is stable inside the house. But I cannot socialize or go out as I feel very distressed. Inside home Im ok. I ve seen therapists. GPs. Nothing worked so far. Anyone in similar circumstances? Im not bipolar. No mood changes.

Regards

Tara

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14 Replies

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  • Hi Tara,

    Welcome to our friendly Action on Depression Forum, I'm sure our wonderful members will reply shortly.

    Chloe

  • Is it just depression as you go out or depression following fear? Did you have a trauma outside in the open? Just things to consider. While you work through it, socialize here. Lots if warm, understanding folks here.

  • Its fear. I was assaulted inside a house but since then fear is my daily routine. Its very dominant. Everything is an allarm bell outside. Tried to volunteer to help people or familes in difficulty. Did this for 4 months till a male visitor in my volunteer family asked me out (very unprofessional from him as I was volunteering). He started looking at my chest and body. Followed me outside to the taxi (I can t go by bus most of the time). Since that episode Im back in my flat avoiding people again

  • I'm so sorry, tara77. Yours is severe trauma to get through. One step at a time. What I can assure you is you are safe here. It's not outside, but you will find a little sunshine here. Not the same, I know, but just to let you know, healing is possible: I loved dogs. One day a friend's dog tried to eat me for lunch. He bit my arm, my leg, & my face. Not only did I run from every dog for years, but bad situations always made me see a mouthful of sharp teeth coming at me. One day, my ex insisted we get a puppy. She was a bullybreed. She saved me from that horrid fear and I love dogs again. People with patience will help you through this...starting here.

  • Its fear since the assault 2 years ago. Depression followed

  • Oh Alice. You have such a kind heart.

    My trauma is deep and its very hard to leave it behind. I have triggers . Bad ones. One day I hope to get in your position and be able to trust again. Im very aware of my fear and depression now. Im like a child who walks again and I really want to live again. My problem is a trauma and I hope I will be able to get out.

  • That person was very scary. Very intelligent and manipulative. He was not my partner but my boss I was working for him as a PA. He blocked my attempts to investigate what he did to me. I tried to bring him to court. Police refused to speak to neighbours who were aware and could have testify against him. Fail of police action. Since then I lost my trust in people.

  • Hi again Tara,

    I just want you to know that we are here for you always and there is also an excellent Forum here on HU called 'Heal my PSTD' which you may wish to check out.

    Warm wishes

    Chloe

  • Thank you Chloe. You are wonderful guys

  • You have been directed to the PTSD site and that will be useful for you, regards your depression. When I was at work on of my so called workmates removed several wheel bolts on the van I was driving and I had a real problem getting back my trust for people as there was two of us in the van.

    I eventually managed to sort myself out as it was many years ago. Try and be strong and take little bites, of the fears you are suffering from and address those over time. You will recover and move on and the PTSD Site will help you.

    We are all here to talk if needed, good luck and keep a hold

    BOB

  • Thank you BOB. will certailny do

  • Hang in there tara77. You are not alone. We're here for you.

  • Hi Tara77, I will pray for you...it is not easy to trust people again but you should trust in GOD and yourself. I would ask you to go to church and make good friends. I have fears to at night but I only pray and listen to nice soothing music while I a going to bed, sometimes I watch stand comedians on you tube which will make you LOL. Please try those things and I hope to hear from you soon! :)

  • Thank you Bouquet. Church is a very safe good thing! Good idea. Thanks

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