My name is John.
Im in a battle with depression. A battle that im losing. Ive always had it but its harder now. I held my son, whom i love with my everything, and the pain didnt go away like it usually does. Im scared. Im dying inside. Im losing it. Im trying to find new escapes like The gym, gaming, or focusing on work but its hanging on me. Its there. My metal problem is scaring me. Im starting to feel it physically. I feel this weight on my shoulders. I feel all the eyes on me. Im scared. Im losing. Im trying so hard to .ake myself feel happy but all im doing is digging a deeper hole. What scares me the most is that my son isnt helping. Usually when i hold him or look at him, itll go away. But its not working. Im scared. This vent is kinda helping. I just wish i can smile without a sad man hiding behind it.