Feeling very depressed today,I have no one

[kayeg]

My partner hates being step dad to my son and things got so bad,my son is no angel and he's always telling lies and a lazy teen-he was worse a couple of years ago when the police got involved and school tried to kick him out.

I feel stupid for believing things were on the right track at last.

My son had someone in our house who we said was not welcome due to him being to blame for the police incident and all hell broke loose.

My partner has told me he's moving out and its over and my sons gone to live with his biological dad. I haven't slept at all, I don't have many friends.

I feel so sick,I can't cope with it,what's the point in trying any more?my family is gone and the resentment runs too deep.

I can't face anyone what the hell do I do about work tomorrow.

[Stilltrying_]

If you are going through an emotional trauma then it would be understandable to take a couple of days off work as you cannot cope with a crisis and work effectively at the same time. Having said that you may find you sleep better tonight and things feel a little calmer for you; see how you feel tomorrow, but if it is going to remain like this then you will need time to adjust to this new set of circumstances, so don't be too hard on yourself Gemma X

[kayeg in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks gemma,I just wish things were different.I love my partner and my kids with all my heart

[Hidden]

If things are that bad between your partner and son then I would suggest family therapy through the NHS may be an answer as it is important that your son gets the support and understanding he needs but at the same time it is no good if things with him undermine your own relationship with your partner - that will not help your son at all and only make him feel bad. Ask your GP if he can refer you to secondary services for an assessment. Suex

[kayeg in reply to Hidden]

Hi sue, I did take my son to my gp because I found out he was self harming,the gp couldn't do anything because my son told him I had forced him to go and doesn't want to talk about it.I then spoke to his school who arranged a counsellor but he just closed up and he had camhs involved for a while and still nothing.

I don't think my son will engage at all so would be very one sided-he is 17 now so not easy to talk round.

I feel like a terrible parent and I worry so much what he will grow up to be and now I've sent him away. My gp has retired and I don't even know who has replaced him.My partner has now said he will never be back while my son is around,I know he's upset too at the moment but I am so torn.

[Gambit62]

Sometimes the structure of work can provide the distraction you need to get away from everything else for a while - just try to take things one step at a time.

I'm sorry that things with your partner have been affected and he appears to have left. It may be a bit early to assume it is permanent as all of us need to get away from situations at times and it may be that rather than it really having ended. Again, all you can do is take one thing at a time. Sorry if that is cold comfort at the moment but it is really understandable that you are upset and your thoughts are probably going round in circles.

Sue's suggestion is a good one.

[kayeg in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you so much for your reply,I am more concerned about getting a call or text and bursting into tears, I don't want to be the source of office gossip.I do actually love my job.I think I am going to try and go then say I have an appointment and leave if I need to,yes its going round in my head all day and all night

[Gambit62 in reply to kayeg]

Hope it goes well and good to have an escape strategy

[Hidden]

Hey kayeg i know how your feeling, & at one time i did think what's the point myself..Your thinking negatively at the moment which is understandable, & your bound to feel the way you do after all you've gone through..So first off try to accept that you will feel the way you do, & try to accept all that's happened to you so far, & try to carry on as if nothings happened..I don't say that lightly as i know how tough, & how impossible that sounds to do..With practice/training you will be able to do it, & your mind will shift back to being neutral about everything not negative....At the moment you have had things happen to you that we're "out of your control", & will be causing you unwanted emotions/feelings..Your emotional part of your mind can't deal with those emotions, as they we're caused by someone else..The more you think about what's happened, & allow your self to feel real emotions..The stronger your emotional mind will get until it's stronger, & has more influence over you than your logical/thinking mind..Then you will start saying then believing that there is no point, which is not true or logical at all is it?..How do you know you won't be amazingly happy this time next week/month/year?, so you can't judge your future by your past..So the training/practice/realizing will shift your mind back to being neutral about everything, & will let things play out before it decides to attach emotions/feelings..You will still have problems etc, but your mind won't see them as problems....A vid Iv'e been posting lately is: "Eckhart Tolle anxiety & fear", it's on utube & should be 17.05 mins long....It will help you if you can get the gist of it, but it doesn't come over night it takes practice..In your situation it will help if you can think logically not negatively, & decide what to do without unwanted influencing negative emotions.