Depression in pregnancy?

I'm new to this and currently 19 and a half weeks pregnant. For that few weeks, maybe months, I've felt so fed up and down in the dumps that it's now starting to impact my normal day to day life and my relationship. I have a beautiful four year old, an amazing fiancé and a lovely home so I feel so guilty for feeling down as I have no reason to. I have no interest in doing anything anymore, the only thing I want to do is curl up in bed all day. All I've seemed to do is cry recently and I'm really not my usual self. Depression runs in my family but I feel as though I have nobody to talk to because I don't think people will take m serious. I darent go to my doctors in case they just put it down to being hormonal and think that I'm over exaggerating. Has anyone got any advice for me?

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  • Hi sweet pea, please don't feel you are either over exaggerating or that you need a reason for feeling down, if you keep over thinking about the 'why' it will just keep you in a stuck position of feeling this way and all you will want to do is curl up in bed waiting for it to pass. It's fine to do this occasionally just to give yourself a rest and let your body adjust to all the extra work its currently having to do.

    Doctors are so much better at listening to you talk about your emotional state in depth and it helps them decide which way is best to advice on direction, its often the best first step and one that won't cost you anything to try as all you need to tell yourself is, its your decision which advise you would want to take from what's on offer, as its only a small part of helping yourself overcome this and you can come out of it.

    It's sometimes the little things you are in control of and can do that will help, sitting and asking yourself what you would like today today if you weren't feeling so down, what is actually stopping you doing them, if you don't know what you would like to do perhaps try writing a list of possibilities? Think of interests you might like to start? Distracting the mind helps a lot in not constantly making you feel like there is something wrong with yourself for suffering from depression and there is a world of interests out there that are waiting to be explored to just do for the sake of seeking and learning whatever you like? Having one small child can be exhausting in itself no matter how much you love them, so doing something purely for your own pleasure is very important for your own well being. Lately I have found release in just doing a jigsaw puzzle that just gave me a rest from all the worries that are going round and round my strange head :-) these things don't offer a cure but do help with making a little more of each and every day as best as you can.

    If you ever think you would like to try something but tell yourself you just can't learn, try something like YouTube for inspiration. There is a lovely TED talk by Josh Kauffman, learn anything in 20 hours that's very good.

    Call on any friends or family just to talk if you are able, a cup of coffee and a rant or listening to someone else's problems can even help just a little to put things in prospective. Life is difficult, we are all broken in some way or another, but can also experience many highs along with the dips that will always come, sometimes when least expected.

    If you like reading or listening to audio books I can recommend Michael Neill's inside out book talking about getting in control of too many unwanted emotions when you feel overwhelmed by them, as its perfectly alright to feel miserable and fed up, but of course we have to them take a step in a different direction or we will be forever asking ourselves what's the point to it all? and I guess the point is we have the right to experiencing pleasure in whatever shape or form, so need to looking to ways of doing just that.

    Talk to anyone you can honey, some will help and some you will know are not for you, but as part of the human race we really do have a lot of love for one another, so as isolated as you can sometimes feel with depression, there is a lot of people out there that want to help.

    Lots of hugs, you will get past this xxxx

  • All I can really advise is for you to see your GP and the Surgery will b able to help you.

    Many Ladies who are expecting need support because of low mood, you are not alone, so make that appointment

    B.

  • Please go and explain your feelings to your GP, they will help you through this, is your partner aware of your feelings? We are all here for you, there is always someone on here to talk to, but you need to see your GP, please do this quickly, and let us know how you get on. Hugs.

  • Don't feel guilty when you've done nothing wrong! You're making a brand new complicated person and you have a right to stay in bed for a while. If I'm hearing you right you are overwhelmed and don't feel like getting out of bed. That seems reasonable with a second child coming. Its a lot. Who among us would not have done the same if we had the option during pregnancy? Sometimes the doctors are right in saying it's hormonal- it can be awful and every pregnancy can be different even for the same woman. I would never want to diminish your feelings but this seems natural. Unless it gets worse maybe you should write it out for a week or two and see how it goes.

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