Relatively new here...

[beijaflor41]

Hi,

I've posted responses to a few posts, but have never posted myself until now. I woke up this morning feeling so desperately awful, so miserably depressed...actually, it was almost noon, and I slept really badly since I've had the flu for a couple of days. Anyway, I've been nervous about posting here about my own problems--depression, anxiety, loneliness...I take sertraline, and I've had a lot of therapy, both of which help a lot, and I have some self-help strategies (light therapy, journaling, meditation, exercise, monitoring self-talk) which I've had to use a lot recently.

I read something online about having more supports than you have pain (for depression), and, even though it's painfully hard sometimes for me to reach out, I would like to attempt to have that many supports. Though it often feels like I could never have enough help for all the pain I feel sometimes! Thank you in advance to anyone reading this, and I would very much appreciate your words of wisdom.

Angela

[Photogeek]

Hi Angela and welcome, If you have had the Flu that could bring your mood down. Is anything g else going on ? Now you haven't said what age group you are in. ARe you working or at a home with children or living alone? Sorry for all the questions but I'm just trying to get a picture of your life

I think it's always good to have support, but I think most of us dont have enough support really, Hopefully other people will be online later and give you a reply too. I just wanted you to know I have read it and understand how you feel

Hannah

[beijaflor41 in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you so much for replying, Hannah! I agree about being brought down by the flu--I often feel depressed when I'm sick. Even when I know that objectively, it's hard for my depression to understand that!

I'm 49, no kids, live with my two cats. I work, but struggle to support myself, since it's just me for the last three years--I was in a long-term relationship, but left since we had just gone separate ways; he had a lot of personal issues, and it had become somewhat abusive, though never physically. I live in a college town where it's difficult to make a living unless one works for the university, state government (I live in the capitol city), or one of the hospitals. I do home support work for people with disabilities, but it's a high-stress, high-burnout job, and the pay is low.

I've been trying to re-invent myself career-wise, but have come to the conclusion that I'm not going to make any progress where I currently live; so any future plans will have to include moving to another place. I have family here, though I can't say I feel like I have any sort of relationship with any of them now.

I think I've probably experienced anxiety and depression since childhood, possibly as early as five or six years old.

I hope that gives a bit more insight into my situation, and thanks again for the validation, Hannah.

[Photogeek in reply to beijaflor41]

Hi Angela thanks for giving me your background info. I live Alone too with 1 cat, and I do think when we get down or Depressed that it's harder when you live alone.

I suppose there are no magic solutions to any of our problems and I do empathise with a good bit of what you wrote. Coming onto his Forum is a great way to feel part of a friendly Group and I hope it helps you to feel less alone.

You will make friends here and you will see that each person has their issues or I guess they would not be posting here. I don't Post a lot about myself but will reply to anyone who I feel I can help. So Angela please do t be a stranger here.

Be really kind to yourself and take thu go day by day till you get a bit stronger.

Hannah x

[beijaflor41 in reply to Photogeek]

Thanks, Hannah! Sometimes living alone feels like what I imagine solitary confinement to be like : ( But I just have to accept that it's what my situation is for now.

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm not so,sure about words of wisdom 😊

I would like you to know rhough that I'm here to listen to you and try to help.

You are not alone. You have obviously been using the right skills to cope with your depression. You are obviously low due to your flu, which does bring you down anyway. You are in need of a friendly chat over a cuppa maybe?

We are all in the same boat so to speak and we are non judgemental. That's why it's so good to come on here and have a chat and let it all out, we all need to talk about it to someone. It's also been said that writing things that bother you is good too, so hopefully that's helping you. I think knowing there's people who suffer like you is comforting and also we get something from trying to help others too.

Please take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself. As you've been low with the flu treat yourself to something you'll enjoy, even if it's just a nice bubble bath and a glass of wine and a chocolate. It all helps us to feel a bit better.

Please keep in contact and have a chat.

Best wishes. 👍😊

[beijaflor41 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much, Fibropop! That means a lot to me that you took the time to respond, and I appreciate the encouragement, especially to take care of/be kind to myself.

I agree that a chat over a cuppa would be a good thing, but I sadly don't feel like I have anyone to do that with right now, and I'm afraid to spend money on anything extra. Both of which illustrate nicely why I feel depressed, I suppose ; ) I did have hot chocolate yesterday and today--mmmm!

Best wishes to you too, Fibropop...

[Hidden in reply to beijaflor41]

Hi again

No probs, we can hav e a hat here and make a cuppa 👍😊

Don't worry that's what's good about being on here.

Post again and we'll chat.

Take care.

Best wishes.

[beijaflor41 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, Fibropop!

[Hidden in reply to beijaflor41]

👍😊

[Olderal]

Angela , you don't have to feel nervous , its an anonymous forum ,and you should use it when you need to explain just how you are feeling. When suffering from depression and anxiety a bout of flu or a bad cold can seem so much worse and the combination is going to make you feel really awful,. Its good to hear that sertraline and therapy both help a lot and that you have self help therapies that work.

Even with all this you are still going to get very bad days in the normal run of things and having flu for a couple of days on top of that means it would be a miracle if you did n't wake up feeling awful. Just accept it and try to give yourself some extra treats to counter the extra down feeling. Go wild and have a liqueur (keep a bottle of your favourite at home just for treats) or buy yourself some really expensives chocolates and turn the heat up .Whatever your treat is ; for me it would be a brandy, and to curl up with a really good book for the day without feeling guilty at doing nothing constructive (after all ,I am ill.).

Keeping the chocolates,liqueur or what ever at home for emergencies would count as a couple of extra supports I would think and they are not difficult to come by.

olderal

[beijaflor41 in reply to Olderal]

Thank you very much, Olderal! Thanks for your encouragement--it really helps.

I guess I just always learned to keep things to myself, and, for the most part, to solve my own problems. Which I suppose becomes a problem in itself.

I could do with having more supports of the chocolate/liqueur variety on hand, you're right.

Thanks, again, Olderal!

[Olderal in reply to beijaflor41]

Trying to solve all your problems yourself is not always possible but in my opinion its a very good attitude to have. Obviously you have reached out and sought help with medication and therapy which is also good. Depression and anxiety are illnesses and to seek medical help is quite reasonable and necessary , most people,in fact practically everyone ,needs medical help with these conditions but even so to be capable of self help is equally important.

I don't know your circumstances but a friend who can keep your confidences about your feelings can also be an invaluable help for the really desperate times but don't overdo loading them with your problems or you could lose a valuable friend. I would n't let your independence in solving your own problems as much as possible stop you from getting as much social interaction with others as possible even if you have to force yourself to do this at times when you feel like withdrawing. Its all a delicate balance but you sound as if you're getting it right and there is always this forum with friends you don't know personally but wish you well,because they share many of your problems.

Olderal

[beijaflor41 in reply to Olderal]

Good and wise advice, Olderal--thank you.

I've usually had at least one person I could count on for emotional support; the last person I had like that, however, dropped me as a friend, and in a very immature way, despite our both being in our forties! And I have a hard time trusting others as it is. I do have a really good friend who lives in England (I'm in the US), so we obviously don't see each other often, but we do email.

I've told myself many times, and been told by my therapist, that it would be helpful if I socialized more, even if I have to force myself. I'm not very happy living where I do, so it will take extra effort at this point, and then following through.

Angela

[Goldfish_]

.?sertraline dose 50 or 100mg. Do your do the exercise, diet and drug avoidance?

..? Try the forgiveness therapy

[beijaflor41 in reply to Goldfish_]

Hi, Goldfish_,

Thanks for your reply! I take 175mg of sertraline daily. I do exercise, and I try very hard to eat healthfully, though I'm on an austerity budget, which makes it harder. I avoid drugs other than my sertraline. And I have experienced a lot of healing by forgiveness, though I could always do more, especially forgiveness for myself. And there's probably always room for improvement in the diet and exercise department! 😊

[BikerChk]

Hi beijaflor41 and Welcome!!

I'm so glad you found this forum. I'm sure you will find the people here very supportive (as you already have) for most everything you post. It's hard going it alone sometimes so we can be your support night and day.

I hope you feel better soon--and with Olderal's prescriptions, you should be back to healthy soon!

BikerChk

[beijaflor41 in reply to BikerChk]

Hello, BikerChk,

I'm so glad I found this forum, too, and thanks for your support. Yes, everyone who responded had great ideas, and just knowing that others are here is so helpful. I haven't had a chance to get Dr. Olderal's prescription filled yet, but I think it will be just the right thing--I hope it's valid in the US! 😉

Angela

[BikerChk in reply to beijaflor41]

LOL Angela!!

I think the items he has thoughtfully prescribed are also over the counter in the US, perhaps you can find suitable products that will do!!

I hope you are feeling better and finding things less gloomy today.

Incidentally, I too live with only my pets--no family to speak of. I find it better to make my own 'family' as I then get to choose those I am comfortable feeling close to.

It sounds like your are doing most everything right as far as exercise, eating and otherwise caring for yourself. Perhaps with the fine people here and all their experience, you will be able to fill in any gaps. If you have any difficult maneuvering around the forum, just ask--someone will have the know how and share it!!

BC

[beijaflor41 in reply to BikerChk]

Thank you, BikerChk!