Why?

[jamie1975]

Why is depression so awful? Why does it keep coming back? Why do some of us suffer and others dont? Why is it so hard to explain to our loved ones how we feel, that we can't snap out of it? Why am I crying for no reason? I hate it so much!

[Satsuma]

jamie1975 Has anything happened today to trigger you ?

[jamie1975 in reply to Satsuma]

No nothing happened lately though I feel depression creating back in. I feel like nobody likes me even my own family. It hurts so bad

[Satsuma in reply to jamie1975]

Thinking thoughts like that are making you sad. Try to write a poem if you can or draw a picture even. Things can sometimes appear worse than they really are when the dark cloud looms over us.

[Photogeek in reply to jamie1975]

Hi Ginalee I think when we are Depressed we feel that unloved feeling, I have felt it too, but remember it's only a feeling not a fact. I'm sure people like you but our self esteem drops to zero when we get Depressed and our thoughts can be very negative.

Challenge this thought , What evidence does Ginalee have to support the though or justify the thought that people don't like you?

Has someone said ". Ginalee I don't like you?

You are probably just being hard on yourself, so please fight these thoughts, it's not easy.

Do one nice thing for yourself right now, take a nice bath, have a hot drink. Also remember we like you .

Sending you a hug.

Hannah

[jamie1975 in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you hannah. I work with my daughter and we go to lunch together she never said she doesn't like me but we don't have much to say to each other. I see her talking and laughing with other coworkers but when she's with me it just seems our relationship is strained for some reason

[Satsuma in reply to Satsuma]

Depression happens for all sorts of reasons. A lack of serotonin is one reason. Living amongst negativity can be another. Unresolved trauma and suppressed emotions/memories can make it happen also. Ill health also. Only people who have suffered can truly understand what we are going through. It is difficult to explain a situation to someone who has no experience of it. Crying helps release the negativity the imbalance causes.

[jamie1975 in reply to Satsuma]

Well I do live with negativity actually I was brought up with negativity by my mother and my husband is negative been married 33 yrs. And I find it very hard to express my emotions. And I'm on sertraline because dr thinks I have chemical imbalance. No wonder I feel like I do. Satsuma thank you and you write beautiful poetry

[Satsuma in reply to jamie1975]

Well then you have answered your question yourself jamie1975 Until you release yourself from the constraints that bind you I am afraid you will continue to suffer as negative people and places have a drowning like effect as I have found. I am slowly sifting the negativity in my life. I feel better than what I have done in the past but I have a long way to go

[Photogeek in reply to jamie1975]

Ginalee I sent you a reply.

Hannah

[Olderal]

Ginalee, I know from your previous post that you are not some very young kid to be asking these naive questions. Believe me I am truly sorry you are suffering the tortures of depression but questions like these are in the same category as :-Why was n't I born into a rich family ?; Why am I not playing football in France for England ? : Why don't I look like George Clooney?--well I do a little bit but you know what I mean.

I always instruct my barber to try and cut my hair so I look less like George Clooney but he just says that the more of the George Clooney he cuts out the more the young Paul Newman creeps in so you can't win them all. Even in my dreams.

There is no answer to these questions and we all hate depression. You seem to be entering a stage of life where you are extra depressed because something has caused you to become unhappy with the way you have been living your life for a long time. Has there been some event that has caused you to change how you view your past life ?

If so you have to address this as you might be experiencing a sort of reactive depression. Or it may be you've changed your view of your life without any one event triggering it.

Either way dealing with depression is a very tough business but you've always managed it and so do most of us. Has something changed for you to cause this extra disillusionment ? If it has i would be careful to wait until recovered before making any decisions. Major decisions while depressed are best avoided if possible.

Olderal