So depressed

[jacq13]

Hi, been suffering on and off with depression for years now. Seem to have been on every antidepressant known and they work for a while then stop. I also have m.e which isn't helping and wad diagnosed with bi polar when I went manic a couple of times in the past. Don't feel anything like that anymore but scared to go out the house now . Life seems really pointless. The only thing that keeps me going are my pet rats that I love to pieces. Does anyone have any suggestions for new antidepressants that have worked for them, it feels like there's nothing left to help me.

[Olderal]

I'm no doctor and even the psychiatrists don't agree on treatments but I don't think antidepressants alone are recommended as treatment for depression if you've had a manic episode.

I would really try to see another GP if thats practicable , or even better a NHS psychiatrist to get a second opinion as to treatment. The most seriously depressed people can be helped and eventually find happiness but finding the right treatment is understandably difficult as depression is still poorly understood although progress is being made. There will certainly be quite a few things left that can help you but as its difficult you need as good and empathetic a GP as you can find and also possibly a psychiatrist who is also a good listener and up to date on treatments.

Don't expect an instant miracle ,even the right treatment won't produce instant results but the pet rats will keep you going until then I hope. Most of us with depression suffer it on and off for years and one is never free of it but eventually if you persist, with good medical help, survival and even happiness will come.

If you do manage to see another GP , think about the treatments you have had and write them down before you see them as with a history of depression over several years it is probably difficult for you to recall exactly what has been your experience and what treatments you have had and even more difficult to recap it for the new GP in one appointment unless you go in with it written down..

Olderal

[Hidden]

Hello

It is difficult to recommend medications here and we really cannot actually do that, only your GP can do that in your case.

Your conditions are contraindictive so the GP will need to refer you as you seem to have tried many different types of medications.

It may be that your GP could send you to see various specialists to for advice on your health problems as some drugs could cause you further problems and the GP may need to prescribe on advisement.

Talk to your GP He could also arrange some appointments with a CPN they have access to the full gambit of medications including those used in hospital wards

Is your condition not any better at this time, what are you taking.

Can I ask how old are you

BOB

[jacq13 in reply to Hidden]

hi Bob, at the moment I'm taking escitalopram. I am under a consultant psychiatrist and am now 52. Due to the bipolar I also take lamotrogine to stabilize my moods but they always seem to be low anyway. I'm now having almost constant nausea and find it hard to eat even when I'm starving. Have been in hospital for 2 overdoses and had ect in the past. I'm allowed to take 4 lorazapam a day for anxiety. All I want to do is sleep. I don't have the energy or motivation to go out of the house as it's the only place I feel safe. When I have ventured out the pain and exhaustion is too much to cope with. Just feel my old active life is over and there's nothing more they can do for me.

[Olderal in reply to jacq13]

Hello again. i take Depakote plus antidepressants which have worked well for about 10 months altho they took a long while (almost 18 months of depression until it lifted) . I had great hopes of Lamotrogine from what I'd read and was pushing to try it when the Depakote finally seemed to work. There is a big choice of mood stabilisers plus different anti depressants to try with each and I'm sure your psychiatrist won't have tried them all yet.

I'm 72 and after years of depression on and off I did find I got better and better at dealing with it , especially in the last 10 years after I retired. So hang in there. It does sound as if you're getting quite good treatment although nothings worked yet ,and if you find as i did you can't get rid of it for good ,but get better at dealing with it then life still has a lot to offer.

With ME and anxiety as well you're quite complicated which may explain why they are having such trouble hitting the right mixture. Have you tried taking high strength fish oil ? Its very cheap (Myprotein sell the strongest one I could find in the Uk). I can't say for sure its helping me as I'm still taking the other drugs but its cheap and there's some slight evidence its good for the brain and some say it helps joint pain and avoids constipation altho I think these last two might be old wives tales. Whats more it ain't yet another drug. Improved my swimming a lot too and I can nearly balance a ball on my nose.

At 52 you're still young compared with me so I do hope they find the right thing for you so you can enjoy many years to come. Your old active life is not over and even if you are the first case ever they could n't help (which I don't believe) there are still a few tricks you can do to improve life. I have no experience with ME and have n't had much anxiety but pm me if want and I'll pm you back with a few of the things I've found that help with depression.

Olderal

[mysmugcat in reply to Olderal]

Great post ty

[Olderal in reply to jacq13]

Hello Jacq13. I got your pm and have sent you about 3 pms which may or may not help. I'm not even sure I'm sending them correctly (I'm rusty on sending pms). I hope I have n't wasred all that typing but don't worry I will crack the system and send it all. The trouble with this site is when I look at my messages to see if I've successfully sent a message it does n't as far as I can see distinguish between messages sent and messages received.

Don't worry. You have my permission to mutter "Silly old fool" and I will crack the system.

Olderal

[Hidden]

Hello Jacq

You are on one hell of a welt there, do you feel that have pushed you down to far, with all this gunk.

You are I suppose have a good reason to be feel the way you do the Lorazapam and Escitalopram will be making you tired and you will be feeling as flat life has no edge and you will not wish to go out as you would be always looking at your back

Do you know what caused all this, how long have you been on these drafts ??

BOB

[jacq13 in reply to Hidden]

Was sexually abused at 5 then stress at work caused gastroenteritis when I was 34 but I managed ok with it on antidepressants at first. A house move that didn't work out at 40 sent me into anxiety attacks but thinking about it I was on citalopram at the time and came off on my own accord, probably too quickly. The gp gave me lorazapam to help and I've been on and off them ever since. After ALOT of other meds to help anxiety and depression due to family problems its only in the past month or so I've been on escitalopram. I feel now that my psychiatrist is at a loss what to do next and about a year ago the m.e flared up. I've got slowly worse ever since. He did tell me that escitalopram wouldn't make me tired but I think it has. I'm sleeping 12 hours every night and then several hours in the day just to get through. Its the only way to get away from the pain and depression, cant see a way out.

[Iluvhorses in reply to jacq13]

I can relate in the way that I too have family problems along with a history of sexual abuse the first time also being at the age of 5. It has led to trust issues and probably factors into my depression and anxiety. I'm pretty sure the same goes for you so maybe a crisis counselor can help. Maybe you could ask your doctor to prescribe klonopin for your anxiety because lorazepam only helps short term unlike klonopin which is beneficial long term. I'm on escitalopram too and it really helps me. Whatever you do don't take yourself off the meds before authorization from your specialist. That can be really harmful.

[Hidden in reply to jacq13]

jacq

Life is just one big pass the parcel when it comes down to the older generation. Make parcels of your concerns

Your past needs coming to terms with pick up each parcel of angst and then split that parcel in manageable bits try and deal with each small bit and correct and take action to make that closure in your mind, when you cannot move through that parcel Leave it for a later time and move onto the next parcel and again split up that in small bits, take one of these bits and try and sort that other piece.

Go on through each problem you have and do the same thing, address each problem the same until there are no bits left and hopefully you will then be able to move on through life in that better frame of life.

You will be able to move on, it will take time although you should become more positive in your life and actions.

We are always around

BOB

[darkshadow in reply to Hidden]

BOB has given you precious advice.When many things make your life unbearable, you must try to deal with only one problem at a time. Whether to concentrate on the most or the least troublesome first is the question. I would go for the least first if you can. I'm going to follow the same advice myself which is going back to my doctor and asking again to be given different medication. The one I'm on is robbing me of my memory and making me need too much sleep while still allowing me frequent bouts of crying. This can't be the way to go.I'm so sorry to hear of your dilemma. I don't know how to help you or myself but I will be here if you want to talk to another person who has not found the answer to her own misery.xxx.

[Satsuma]

My animal is keeping me alive just now too. I am living for him at my own detriment .. Was so positive the other day and now I am deeper than deep in the darkest of despair

[jacq13 in reply to Satsuma]

I think having animals gives us a reason to be here as they rely on us completely. I don't care about myself either but as long as I have my animals they give me a reason to go on. Hope you feel more positive again soon x

[SinkingCindy in reply to jacq13]

I agree . Have 2 dogs who have given me more happiness than any person I know. Unfortunately they are both old and sick now. It is difficult to see. But animals are the best. Dogs make me smile.

[Iluvhorses in reply to SinkingCindy]

I am passionate about horses. Everytime I get upset, I mentally go to the barn and think if my friends who are both human and four legged.

[jacq13 in reply to Iluvhorses]

I also love horses and used to share one with a friend. We used to spend hours poodling round on the downs, it was the best ever

[Satsuma]

Thank you Jacq it been years now I been like this and it is wearing thin now

[BettyA]

Hi Jacq, I was wondering if maybe you are isolating yourself to much? I know a person doesn't 'feel like' doing anything during depression, but I also know that if I FORCE myself to get out...It helps...even if its momentary... Do you have friends that you can meet up for coffee with?

Something I had to learn was: pills can HELP you...but they do CURE you...they are only a crutch (sometimes it works other times not) .... It took my therapist to point this out during the time I was talking about certain Rx drugs or even alternative ones just 'not working'.... Sometimes even forcing yourself to go for a walk which you may NOT want to do...is STILL the best thing to do...

Wishing you all the very best to come your way...SOON!

BettyA

[Depresseddorset]

Hi, I have been living with depression and anxiety most of my life. I don't suffer or fight it I live with it, it is part of me. Once I accepted that there is no cure I started to move on. I take a combination of venlafaxine and mirtazapine each day and have regular sessions with my psychiatrist. In addition to my mental illnesses I also have ME and fybromyalgua but I do manage to work full time not just because I have bills to pay but it gives me a focus and forces me to leave my home every week day. It takes all weekend to recover and prepare for the next week but it is part of my recovery. Also I no longer hide my mental illnesses because i want to destigmatise mental illness and show the world that I am not 'strange'. I know that one day I can come off the meds, when? I don't know but that doesn't worry me.

Suicide may seem the only option but it isn't the answer. I've attempted it but was pulled back unwillingly but I'm glad I'm here even though II am still living through an episode.

Take care and try to move on

[SammieXo]

Hello i was in the same situation as u a few years ago and i had no1 to talk to about my feelings. I spent alot of time with my pet rats too they r just amazing pets arent they? They show so much love. Have you taught yiur ratties any tricks yet??x

[jacq13 in reply to SammieXo]

Hi Sammie, yes I'm getting them to spin for their treats!