feel so alone and depressed

[redroseart]

I have been having severe anxiety and depression for a few weeks now. my mum my little dog and my brother died recently. I am a carer for my sister who has a terminal illness and this has been getting to me. just wanted to tell someone my feelings.

[Suzie40]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. I don't think I can begin to imagine what you must be going through right now. Each one of those in its on right would be an horrendous thing to cope with. Who is taking care of you? X

[Burstcouch]

Please seek some help, at least in the first instance see your GP.

You should have a whole raft of support services in place to help you cope with everything your going through.

[redroseart]

hi suzie thanks for your reply and your concern. I have 1 good friend but live on my own so have no-one to take care of me. my mum was 86 and we knew she was going but my dog died in a car accident she ran into the road and I couldn't stop her I feel so guilty I only opened my front door for a second and she was out. I am still grieving for her.

[Photogeek in reply to redroseart]

I feel so sorry for you going through all this, even if you were never depressed, it would be a mammoth task. Losing a pet is v. hard, my poor cat died quiite suddenly last year, and I missed her so much, and felt guilty that she suffered a bit, even though the first vet I went to said he could not find anything wrong with her. Then your Mother too, thats an awful lot of pain. Try and get some time to yourself, so you get time and space to grieve, and no one should tell you what your needs are. Keep in touch here as you will get lots of love and support.

Hannah

[redroseart]

I have seen my gp he said this is normal grieving. my psychiatrist said I would feel it worse than others as I already suffer with depression.

[Suzie40]

It doesn't matter how old she was, she's your mum and the love you have for her doesn't dwindle with age. I lost a cat and a rabbit on the road outside my house so I understand the pain you're going through. The guilt at not keeping them safe in the house, and wishing I'd better secured the hutch etc. People often underestimate the love we have for our animals. I'm so sorry about your brother, too. I don't want to pry into your sisters illness, but is she receiving support from nurses, or carers? I hope you're not carrying the responsibility by yourself? You are very important and your wellbeing is, too x

[redroseart]

yes my sister has plenty of carers and friends and family sipporting her she doesn't appreciatie it though she is very snappy and awkward. her daughter visists every day and her son visits every week.,i gp three timrs a s week snd stay till 9pm at night.dorry not got used to this this new computer

[redroseart]

I dony get much support she doesn't yhink I need it.

[redroseart]

just because you cant see my illness she doesn't think it is there

[Suzie40]

Perhaps she could be forgiven for being snappy and awkward?

There are organisations out there who support both the practical and emotionl needs of carers. There are probably posters or leaflets available at your GP clinic.

Most people would not dare to compare a terminal illness to having depression. In reality, though, both are debilitating and one could argue that depression is just more drawn out ...

[Jeffju]

You are going through an awful time. I lost my Mum and Dad last year and , although they had lived good, long lives, it was still hard. It's sad that you don't have any support for your self as you obviously need some.Have you any good friends you could share how you feel with ?? Or maybe a minister or someone like that?? You have lots of support on here , know it's not quite the same ,but this site has helped me heaps.keep venting on here, there is always someone to hear you. (((((((HUGS)))))) xxx

[bananabread]

Jeffju makes a good point: We are all hear to listen and we all care because the worst thing is feeling misuderstood and alone. It is tough when you finally manage to crack a smile and people around you think you must be all better then! I am not religious but i did go into a church once on one of my desperate days and the priest there was the lovliest and most understanding person i felt much better just to know someone maybe understood how broken i felt. Or just keep talking to us, we are always here for you xxxxx

[hamble99b]

oh redroseheart, you have so much to deal with, any one of those losses would floor someone with no previous depression.

you need time to grieve and look after yourself.

could you go away for a few days, maybe a week?

somewhere where you can relax and think of only yourself, with no responsibilities.

preferably with breakfast & evening meal.

you say your sister is supported, let someone cover for you for a bit - even if you just stay home.

she maybe cannot see beyond her own needs and thoughts, but she has so much to deal with, she can't let herself think of others.

This doesn't mean that your needs are not important - they are, equally so.

It's not an either / or situation. You both need help and support. neither one less than the other.

Please take time for you, and don't blame yourself for the death of your dog - you were innocent. She was doing what dogs do - nipping off. I bet she'd done i many times, safely. It meant she was a happy dog, able to be mischievious [sp] .

I've found the number & website for cruse for you, they are very good, but as as been said, we are here for you. pm me if you want to.

cruse.org.uk/

08444779404

hugs, (( ))

sandra.

[redroseart in reply to hamble99b]

hello Sandra thanks for your kind reply. my little dog has hit me the worst she was a happy little thing always smiling she had a good life lots of walks and love from me. she was called lexie and I miss her every day. thanks so much everyone for your replies will post again. kind regards soniaxxx

[redroseart]

hello Sandra I would like a holiday but have no-one to go with. I don't have the confidence to go out much or any friends to go with. it takes all my strength just to get out of bed and get washed and dressed. if I didn't go to my sisters I would have no-one to talk to or no reason to get out of bed. I feel like my life is hopeless and there is no reason to live. I have an existence but nothing else. I feel like nobody can help me out of this depression. my psychiatrist is quite good she has referred me to a psychologist but I know I wont have the confidence to go.

[GiveMehTheCookies]

I am shocked to hear what you're going through, I'm grieving at a loss of a close relative at the moment and I can only say that I hope you are okay and it will get better at some point no matter what you think.

Stay strong.

- Amber xxx

[redroseart]

hello amber thanks for your reply hope you feel better soon who was your close relative? I was close to my mum but my sister looked after her and my brother who died had schizophrenia. I had not seen my brother for years as he didn't like visitors. I feel better for posting on here.

[GiveMehTheCookies in reply to redroseart]

It was my grandad who I was extremely close too, thank you.

I hate the situation you're in but like I said it will get better

It is better posting on here since its people in your situation.

-Amber xxx

[redroseart]

so sorry amber I am sure he knew you loved him. I never knew my grandparents they were in Poland. both my my mum and dad were polish. my dad killed himself 29 years ago. I suffer with anxiety and depression.

[GiveMehTheCookies in reply to redroseart]

I'm sorry

-Amber xxx

[Hidden]

I really feel for you redroseart you are going through a terrible time at the moment. Isn't it awful that all this has happened so quickly. One at a time is bad enough but this!

You are in my thoughts love. (((((((((((((((redroseart))))))))

Come in and vent anytime we are all here to listen.

Bev xx

[redroseart]

hi bev it is just too much for me all at once. my dog died 13th December my mum died 18th December and my brother died 13th april all very close together.

[Hidden]

I hope you are feeling better...you are not alone. I definitely relate tp you...Im here if you need to talk or someone to just listen.

[krishnashekhawat]

I can understand your feeling completely as it has happened with me. So i personally recommend you, don't let down and be strong. All will be good as God doesn't wrong with us.

You can try these point to fulfill your emptiness:

Call a friend

Involve yourself in the activities that make you happy

Take holiday tour with friend or relative