Selfish

[lawlaw99]

 Not impressed with comments about suicide is selfish  its unhelpful and not hoing to make the person feel any better , when you feel tht low you dont think straight, and read this just now from somebody on here, CRAZY 

[Stilltrying_]

 Yes I do know what you mean . Personally I do not believe that suicide is selfish. I believe that people who are feeling that way are deeply, deeply hurt distressed and in and need of help and that most people in all honesty do not want to die; they are simply struggling with the pain of their life at that time.

Having said that others are entitled to their point of view,. I  always believe that everyone on here helps in the best way they know how and the person concerned is speaking from a personal experience and their own personal beliefs and they  also have a genuine and heartfelt  committment towards helping others. 

[lawlaw99 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Agreed, just suprised me tbh! X

[Hidden]

I agree with you. There are many reasons for suicide.I have known since I was a child that if things get too painful, there is a way out. That's been such a comfort to me.

[lawlaw99 in reply to Hidden]

 Hi vintage me ( name made me smile!)   Thankfully we are still battling on unselfishly wink x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Me too VM  x

[Kev45]

Who on earth has been saying that?! As if someone who feels suicidal isn't feeling awful enough as it is. When you feel that low it's common to believe genuinely that people will be better off without you.

[lawlaw99 in reply to Kev45]

Hi Kev45,

ive only been on here a couple of days, it was a comment i read not directly to me, i was shocked and dismayed , you definately feel people are better off without you, its true the people left behind suffer and for tht it breaks my heart too, but nobody actually chooses to feel tht crap, who the hell would 

[Kev45 in reply to lawlaw99]

Exactly. My best friend tried to take his own life a couple of months ago. I was devastated he'd try but I understood his reasons and his reasonings. Nobody wants to hurt other people but rationality goes out the window when you're feeling that awful.  In some situations people might actually feel selfish for being a burden with their depression. It's just an unnecessary thing to say. Thanks for getting back to me. You'll find most people on here are really nice and helpful. 

[Photogeek]

Law law just ignore that person who says suicide is selfish, but I agree with Gemma, that people are entitled to their point of view, and to be honest a lot of people say and think that suicide is selfish. I hear people saying that all the time, but that doesn't mean we are beng attacked. They say that from a place in their lives   They are not depressed and they think we can be selfish and that suicide is selfish, that is a very common perception, 

Please note that I DO NOT think suicide is selfish.!  Most people on this forum are fantastic and I am surprised you read this.

Hannah

[lawlaw99 in reply to Photogeek]

I know and i absolutely agree with Gemma that everyone has the right to an opinion of course, it just shocked me to read on here. I was really really close to being gone on Tuesday and my thoughts were bad really bad. The support i got and have in last couple of days on here  has been fantastic especially as my support worker has aided me with a " to do " list when i get so bad but sometimes you feel like people around you think 'here we go again' or see it as attention seeking  . I wouldnt wish these thoughts feelings and pain on somebody i didnt like let alone want my children to be messed up by me going , the total despair and hopelessness and just not being able to cope anymore along with the symptoms tht go hand in hand with mental illness are too much. Its hard for me to put into words,i live with guilt and shame n panic since i was old enough to remember and over time its become progressively worse, was i selfish wen i was twelve and tryed overdosing for first time? 

Hope i havent started anything here but it was not what i expected to see on such a helpful caring site.x

[jinirules]

To be honest I used to think that and I still tell my child that it is selfish coz I don't want her to think that it is a way out. But once I went thru that despair I see how easy it is for anyone to feel that and sometimes that person needs to be reminded of the big picture. But calling them selfish is not a solution it just makes it worse. 

Why I used to think it is selfish is coz when mother died of cancer I remember my younger brother feeling it was his fault and he was only 9 I felt it was my fault. I know it doesn't make sense but kids don't. I saw my father struggle with her death and this was a natural cause and she was ill for quite a while and still we struggled   

So I understand why people would see it as selfish but the kicker is when you are in that downward spiral you can't light at the end of it. And sometimes reminding them of their spouses and kids can help calling them selfish can't. 

[Hidden]

Hi I have to agree with Hannah and Gemma.   The person who said that is a long standing and valuable member on here and has their own experience with suicide.   I don't agree with the remark but one of the greatest things about this site is that we recognise that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we don't use terms like 'idiot' if we disagree with what someone says.  

It is best to say you disagree with it to the person and not put up a post about it.   Everyone on here treats everyone else with respect and gives an honest and genuine reply.  I would hate to see this change.   Bev x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I deleted my 2nd post as I didn't realise the first one had gone through.  x

[hgrimmer]

I agree with this. Suicide is the last resort........the VERY last resort.

[Olderal]

There are many instances of people giving up their life to save another. This may not count as suicide but its certainly close and certainly the very definition of unselfishness. Also many suicides mistakenly feel they will help loved ones by not being around. This is certainly not selfish although it nearly always shows distorted thinking.

Olderal 

[Skahadiva]

Anyone who claims that suicide is selfish has never been on the brink themselves and has never felt the immense pain that brings a person to that point. Yes the people left behind suffer; imagine knowing that and still finding suicide to be the only answer. The most important thing is to never, ever judge.