Feeling awful

[Flower345]

Hi I have just joined. I have my own set of physical illness but I joined this forum to share my emotional problems. I lost my grandad nearly 6 months ago. None of my family expected him to pass away, we visited him 2 days before he went and it was a huge shock to us all.

Since his passing I've been concerned about my nan. She has gone deaf and whispers to herself. She doesn't spend much time at the house her and grandad lived in and instead spends up to 3 days with me, mum and dad, meaning I have to share my bed with her when she stays. This isn't easy for me because my boyfriend comes up to stay during the weekend and during weeknights I need early nights so that I can get up for early morning shifts. I'm kept awake by my nan chatting away to herself next to me for hours on end or I sometimes wake up from her talking out loud in her sleep. I don't really like having to climb over her when I need to get up early in the mornings. Her GP did prescribe her antidepressants that have sedative properties to help her sleep but she doesn't alwas take them. I know I probably sound like I don't care or I sound selfish but this whole thing is making me very angry, depressed and upset and I get enough depression through my illness without having this on top.

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Hello Flower

Sorry to hear that you have lost your Grandfather, it is always a shock when their is a close family lose that happens so suddenly although in some ways that is the best way when we begin to get older. Generally for family members to get a closure from this type of loss can take upwards of two years, all you can do is talk about the loss with your Mam and Dad as they will be suffering in the same way. To help each other and be there for your GrandMother can help her come to terms with the loss of Her Husband of many years.

The whole problem that is unsettling you at this time is your Grandmother sharing your Bed at night, I can also understand the reasons why you want your bed back. Also I do not know how old you are as life choices made in your Name can be rather one sided, especially if your Granny is suffering  a mental deficit.

Is your Grandmother going to stay with you on a continuous basis or only until she feels  more capable of returning home.

Personally it may be a good idea for your Gran to visit Her GP and gain some support for her loss, if she is suffering from a memory problem that could also be checked and understood.

Has your Parents told you how long they expect your Gran to stay, I do not know the sleeping arrangements in your home or the number of rooms in your home that is why I suggest the route to the GP as if she is unsettles in bed this will affect your nights sleep and cause you to very tired next morning.

One way that could be tried with your GrandMother could be to arrange some respite care, this will allow your parents time to arrange something more acceptable for your Grandmother

Sorry I do not know the dynamic of your Home, how old you are etc.

BOB