Depression

[anonymous-f]

I feel so down, sad, lonely most of the time. No one understands me and nothing is helping. I always try to cheer up myself but nothing works. I need help im going threw things that I don't even know what they mean

[Hidden]

The first thing I would suggest is talk to your GP. Medications and treatments can be targeted and help you control these feelings. To know your worries and problems can help you control your mood.

How can we help?., we are a understanding bunch here and we can give some level of support

BOB

[hamble99b]

BOB's right, please talk to your gp and come and talk to us. I've put some helplines on Luewil's post, please consider contacting them.

regards,

hamble.

[BonnieSue]

We'd be glad to help you not feel lonely or so sad. Tell us one of your problems and see if we don't have some good thoughts and ideas to lift your spirits about it. Whatever it is, chances are at least several people here have been through the same thing and some are even going through it now. I'll bet you we understand and can make you feel less lonely if you would only give us a try.

We can't help if you don't tell us a little more about what you're going through. So many people here understand loneliness, let us share your loneliness and you'll feel much better for sharing your situation.

I live with my husband and a grown son and I can be very lonely at times. You know that old saying about being surrounded by people and being lonely? That's me sometimes...too often. A husband who isn't interested in listening to me or hearing or knowing my needs or interests or desires and a son who I won't burden with my troubles and who has his own troubles. Both I have been a caretaker for but at much different degrees.

Yesterday and last night was rough regarding my husband and his pain from cancer. I kept vigil all evening long, monitoring his pain and the timing of his fluids, nutrition and pain meds. Yet his illness made my life less painful because he wasn't feeling well enough to be insulting me, putting me down or arguing. This still leaves me lonely and in charge of his very serious health problems. He was too out of it to be in charge of his own health. This leaves me with no time or chance to have friends and that's really left me lonely.

How's that for a start? I told you about a problem in my life that makes me lonely, now can you do the same? Do you have any of these problems?

[anonymous-f in reply to BonnieSue]

Hey, im so sorry for your husband & i hope he feels better soon! Thank you for sharing your problem with me anyways.. My problem is that i do not understand what's going on with me, i can't control myself & i kinda have anger issues. I get mad real quick and its so annoying. Like mostly all of the times when im with my friends enjoying my time suddenly i get depressed, I remember so many things, I remember so many memories with people i lost and this makes feel down. I can't smile the way i used to, & im tired of fake smiling and pretending that im okay. I hope you understand what i mean

[BonnieSue in reply to anonymous-f]

So you are still grieving the loss of friends and can't join in regular relationships as if you weren't grieving. That's totally understandable. Why not be open and honest about the fact that you are still working your way through the grieving process? Then if you get quiet and withdrawn your friends may be able to understand and not bother you about it or expect more from you than you can give. No more fake smiles and so forth.

Maybe you need some counseling to see if you're stuck somewhere in the grieving process--though I'd 1st read up on the stages of grief and just get an idea on where you are in the process with each person you lost. It's tricky when you've lost more than 1 person. I imagine it's tougher, too, and takes longer. Grieving has no time limit and can go fairly quickly or take years.

You never get over losing someone; you adjust, adapt and accept losing them. But a part of them remains with you always and that's entirely appropriate. Be gentle with yourself and guide your friends how to be gentle also.

[anonymous-f in reply to BonnieSue]

One of my friends understand what im going threw and she always tries to cheer me up but still nothing is working and everyday it's getting worse

[BonnieSue in reply to anonymous-f]

That's great that you have 1 friend that understands you, even if she isn't perfect in every way. Since you're getting worse, I think it may be time for professional help. Why don't you make an app't. with your GP about your depression and see what he or she is willing to do to help you? You probably need to go on some antidepressant for awhile.

You also need a good counselor. One that understands losing someone special to you. That shouldn't be hard to find. Give the counselor a few app'ts. to see what you think about him or her before you decide if this person can help you. Unless you have no choice? I'm from the US and I don't know where you're from and how your system works for counselors.

Please give these ideas some serious thought because you sound very much like you need these things. It might be hard to get yourself to make the calls to get these things started, but you'll be helping yourself in a huge way. I'd love to hear how you're doing if you want to write back and let me know. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[anonymous-f in reply to BonnieSue]

so what should i do know? i kinda getting over it bs sometimes i feel bad, i feel down idk

[BonnieSue in reply to anonymous-f]

What you should do is what I recommended. Pick up the phone and call your general practitioner or internist and make an app't. to describe your depression and how long you've had these symptoms. Just describe what you've written here. Or write it down before you go in and show it to the Dr. Your depression is evident and you need an antidepressant for now until you pick up on your own.

You also need a recommendation for a good counselor to cope with and help you over this bumpy road and to teach you how to handle your depression and improve it towards recovery. Many people have what you have but that means there's a lot of wisdom out there regarding how to handle it and how to improve and feel better. Counseling can help you greatly both now and forever after you're done with it because you'll still know what you learned in counseling.Psyche Drs. these days are not usually trained to counsel in any way, they usually simply manage drugs. It depend on the Dr.

Best of luck to you and I hope you'll write back after you go to the Dr. I be praying and thinking of you with best wishes.

[anonymous-f in reply to BonnieSue]

I don't want to go to a dr or something because I don't want my mom to know what im going threw, and like she's not gonna believe me if i told her that im depressed cause like i always smile when i talk to her and stuff, so I don't know what to do

[BonnieSue in reply to anonymous-f]

Do you think she hasn't noticed a difference in you? I'll bet she has. She may not know just what that difference is, but I think she's picked up on it to some degree. Why don't you put out some feelers to see how she responds to test whether she's aware of any difference in you? If she's caught on, you maybe could let her know more about how down you're really feeling and how you need more help. It would be good to have her in your corner.

[anonymous-f in reply to BonnieSue]

I didn't talk to my mother or anything about it and I didn't do anything to take the depression away, i tried to stay with my friends study and do things that will make me foget and now its gone and totally fine. Thank you

[BonnieSue in reply to anonymous-f]

I'm so glad it's gone!

[wmellow1]

I am depressed with money problems, rent going up and not knowing what to do. I live alone with my dog and 2 cats. Got a good job, but very stressful . . . they want you to do more and more yet you are capped and so why do more? No friends due to past life experiences. Good person now, good job, but very lonely, very tired. 65 now. I just do not know what to do. Life is lonely and I'm scared of what will come. If you have found an answer to your problem, please assist.

[BonnieSue in reply to wmellow1]

Do you have something you love to do? Something where you could join a group and meet other people who love what you love? This would require effort and I know you're tired, but it could also energize you. It's amazing how you get energy when you're looking forward to where you're going. You could probably think of something that doesn't require a lot of your time but is still good fun or engaging.

You need this activity to destress from your job as well as to find friends. I'd be satisfied if I found just 1 good friend this way. You only have just so much time after work and sleep and errands. Think about this and see if you can't come up with something. I wish you the best of luck.