Scared for the future.

Hi everyone, it's been a few weeks now since I initially posted on here about my depression. I have been to the doctors who have diagnosed me with moderate depression and I am on seratriline tablets. I have also been asked to take part in therapy so I self referred myself to a mental health clinic through NHS however they are so busy that they can't even offer me w phone call until the 20th March! So in the mean time I have to battle this without the help of therapy which I am finding has its good and bad days. It's wierd sometimes I'll wake up in the morning to the sun shining bright and early and feel motivated to have a good day and be positive. But then there seems to be days where I feel like I'm going to struggle to face the day.

In my last post I mentioned how my depression was mainly effecting my relationship with my boyfriend who has took all the shit I give him! I have turned so pessimistic about relationships it's like I feel like I'm going to be abandoned and hurt even if there are no signs that this will happen in my head I am convinced it will therefore it's like I cause arguments over things that are so little or that just don't even exist. He sticks with me through that and I do consider him a good boyfriend but because he naturally can have quite an argumentative temper himself, he is quick to call me back and say things to me he claims is through the heat of the moment that don't help how I feel. It's not very nice being called "f*cked in the head" by someone you love.

Anyway because in so adamant that I'm gonna get hurt or abandoned I feel like I am panicking over stupid things, for example my boyfriends going on a stag weekend on a few months time and I don't know why but it's playing havoc in my head. I'm just scared because I don't wanna have to worry over little things and feel the way I am. I don't wanna be the type of person to stop my boyfriend doing normal things because of my own insecurities and self esteem. All I want is to feel better about myself and just feel more stable.

[mysmugcat]

Hello. I'm sorry to hear about this. I'm not sure how old you are. My depression started in my teens. Yes it is normal to wait a long time for an appointment, try and push it forward a bit if you can-go back to the doctor. Sometimes it works.

You probably know it can take two weeks to get used to the tablets and you may get unpleasant side effects such as increased anxiety until your body and mind settles more. I have had to change my anti depressants quite a bit over my years.

Your boyfriend is cruel and likely emotional abuse saying things like that to you, you have a disability for goodness sake.

PM me if you ever like and I will reply as soon as I can.

I find small steps help sometimes, small goals, not big one's.

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Hello Kw

You need to give a chance for the medications to work upwards of five, six weeks

At this time a triage is undertaken over the telephone so they can assess how severe your depression is and the best way forward and treatments that can be undertaken.

When it comes to relationships, if you are unhappy and always not trusting the lad, that is not a good place to be in and if names are called and a negative attitude is coming to the surface you need to consider what you really want as self esteem can be damaged, that will just make you worse and the relationship could be damaged as is your feelings. and future relationship could become a problem.

Talk to your Man, you need to be happy if you cannot trust, you need to ask YOURSELF why ??

BOB