No one understands....

[chelle52]

Hi. I'm new on here. I'm a 37yro woman who has been suffering with depression for two years, since my mother died. I have struggled to live, to work, to have relationships and I feel no one around me understands what I'm going through. My boyfriend thinks I'm lazy because I get tired a lot and cry a lot and gets very confused with my actions, as one minute I can be happy with him and the next I'm threatening to leave him. I'm on medication but I don't seem to feel any better. I bought two dogs 7 months ago as a way of helping my loneliness (they accept me unconditionally) and to help me get out of the house more, but my boyfriend doesn't like them as they don't get on with his cats so this is adding to my stress. I just wanted to write this down as a way of getting it off my chest.

[Hidden]

Hi Chelle,

Firstly, welcome though it's always a shame when another person joins (Kind of).

I know where you are coming from. My dad passed away and I had a sudden and complete melt down. I'm getting better but have had a lot of counselling and support from friends.

Have you had counselling? What is your friends network like? Your partner does need to support you better. It sounds as though he doesn't know what to do and needs to know how to help you.

You'll find a lot of people on here that have been or are going through the same. Get the doctor to check your meds and get yourself counselling. Might even be worth checking privately as the NHS can take ages.

Keep us all posted!

[Hidden]

Hello Chell

Welcome to this site.

I have a Collie and generally He does not bother with cats, He stands His ground and that is it.

If you like dogs and He likes cats you will need to meet in the middle, sometimes they do accept each other, it sounds mean not to accept your pets.

You say you have had a death in your family. It can take upwards of two years to get over a loss so just be kind to yourself and if you have someone to talk about it that is the best way to talk out the loss.

If you are unable to talk to anyone and you are stressed with Depression your GP may be able to arrange CBT for you, this may help in sorting out your moods.

If you feel you can chat here fair enough ? How long have you been on your medications.

Can we help

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi I am sorry to hear this. Do you think you might have got stuck in the grief cycle? If so then you need to ask your doctor for bereavement counselling. If you love dogs then keep them, at least they don't call you names. Have you been going out more with the dogs there? They do need regular walks you know. x

[Cowdenmc79]

I have the same feelings

[Tinyone]

Hi Chelle

Welcome to the forum.

I too have a dog and a cat and they get on so well. My dog will lick the cats face and the cat loves it. They both love chicken though which is costly.

I too find walking my dog helps me to get out of the house. I walk for miles. Mostly just to think. My dog has twisty head at the slightest sound if the word walk... he's so funny. The trick is... to love your dogs as they will return that love unconditionally... they are your trusted pals for life. My cat however is Mr affectionate and loves cuddles and my dog can be Mr jealous... very. So together they bring a smile to my face.

There's no reason why your dogs and cats can't too.

I know you've lost your mother. I did too and my father and there's been quite a lot of shite in my life, and believe me when I say I do have my down days... I haven't but do even think of what notes to leave. I can go from one end of the spectrum to the other in a moment.

So we do understand what you are going through. You are not on your own and you are not lazy. You'll have your ups and downs... and you'll find the best ways to deal with them. And we'll help support you. Never give up... no surrender!

[Hidden]

Hiya Chelle,

So sorry to hear about your loss. Not having the right kind of emotional support around you must only be making it harder.

Antidepressant meds are a funny one. I'm of the opinion they just don't agree with some people - I've tried a plethora over the last 3 years and never got any reliable results from any one of them. If you're not happy with your current one or feel they aren't helping you at all, might be an idea to see the doc about them. That being said they do take some time to get fully in your system to do their thing, not sure how long you've been on the current ones?

Dogs are terrific company when you're feeling low. As you say, unconditional love, acceptance and affection. I have an adorable border collie named Scamp and he has been such a lovely companion the last few years. It'd be great if you could try and find a middle ground or compromise with the cat situation.

[Hidden]

Hi Chelle you got quite a few replies to your post but I notice you haven't come back to us. Have you seen the replies and did you find them helpful at all x