Depression or Anxiety or both...

[flalbert]

Hello,

I'm a 25 year old female and feeling very lost. I have been confused for the last couple of years, since about the time my father died (not sure if that's somehow connected). I graduated about a year and a half ago with a good grade, but since then I feel i'm running around in circles, and that now i'm here in the middle of the spiral with nowhere to go. I don't want anything, apart from to feel better. There's nothing for me to aim towards and the harder I try the more down I become. I don't know what it is that I want.

I studied Art, but haven't had any enthusiasm towards making my own work since I graduated. I spend most of my time trying to figure out what I will do with my future but not getting anywhere, trying to start on something but always losing enthusiasm. I have been working in a cafe since graduating and i've been having anxiety attacks at work where my mind starts to race, I can't coordinate myself or think straight and end up frustrated and crying. My hours have slowly decreased and this week i've been given no work. But i'm relieved at the same time. I'm finding it increasingly hard to be friendly and converse with customers (which used to be my forte). I also quit at one point, thinking that I would find a job I enjoyed more but I couldn't so asked them to take me back.

I just don't know where to go from here. I keep trying in every sense, in relationships, in friendships and in my working life to make progress but each time I can't make it. I feel as if i'm not present, as if i'm somehow on the outside of life watching as it people and opportunities glide in front of me. I want to pause it. I have tried to talk to friends about it, and they offer solutions, but they haven't worked and I don't want to be a broken record. I don't talk to my family about it as my mum looks after my brother who is psychotic/depressed and has a hard time herself and also as I can't keep repeating it. I'm truly bored of my situation and was hoping someone might know what's wrong, or be able to offer some advice on how I might be able to change my thinking/attitude/life in a positive way? How I might be able to progress and find what I want? Confusion is a very lonely place.

Thanks for listening x

[Hidden]

Hi well done on getting though Uni and with a good grade too. That's not easy.

I see some of the familiar hallmarks of depression in your post ie lack of motivation and becoming easily upset.

If you don't know what you want then maybe a good way is to think what you don't want instead as this is often easier. I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to sort out your future so how about taking one thing at a time? One small thing such as look for another job maybe - just that. Get the paper and look through it. Take each day as it comes rather than worrying about the future so much. Often the future takes care of itself anyway.

If you want to check whether you are depressed take one of the online tests which should give you a guide - if you google it there are loads there. If you decide you might be then the best thing might be to visit your doctor and seek a diagnosis, advice and treatment. The death of your father certainly won't have helped and you might need help moving on in the grieving process.

Good luck and let me know how you get on please. x

[joero]

Hi,

25 year old male here; I came to this site at 1am after a particularly bad day, and honestly, I could have written this myself. I also graduated 4 years ago and have held down a few jobs, and can't muster any kind of motivation to even attempt to work in my chosen field (journalism). I've barely written anything since my graduation. I've suspected some kind of depression for a while now, and again, I've tried to talk to my family, but my younger brother has had issues with depression and behavioural difficulties from a young age and I feel my troubles pale in comparison.

If you want to talk about this, please email me at [e-mail], or just reply here (if you can do that, I made an account here to reply to this).

[loggerslot]

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your father's passing away. I feel it must have been difficult for you and especially your mum, looking after your brother. I wanted to take a step by step approach in understanding your situation.

You've done Art so that's quite an achievement, you need an imaginative mind to create something unique.

I sometimes thought what doors does an Art degree open. for example, doing an electrical engineering degree means you could apply for various roles in different industries. what roles would your degree allow you to do, could you please explain?

If you could apply for a role specific to your qualification, what role would you like to do become an antiques valuer, work as a specialist for an arts collector? please tell me.

[Maman2144]

Well Done for getting your degree. I can only follow the other's members advice , good luck in finding a job you enjoy. Best wishes and a big hug. Regards Lorna

[Guarango]

Hi, I have been going through a similar situation, try some gardening or something that involves phisical contact with your hands, in your case you can try something artistic, well read a book call 60 seconds of Richard Wiseman, this will give you some practical advise to feel better about life and your self, and don't give up, never give up!!!'

[Hidden]

Hi flalbert I notice you haven't come back to us and am concerned in case you haven't see your replies. If possible can you let us know if they were helpful please? x