Hi, I've new to here so not really sure how it works but here goes.
I'm 23 and lost my mum to cancer when I was 18. I thought for the last 6 years I was doing 'just fine' but had noticed that I started to have little interest in any aspect of life. I didnt have any form of 'happiness' inside me and it started to take its toll on my relationship too, which isn't fair. I had a bit of a meltdown a few weeks ago and decided it was time to try and sort my mind out and seek some help. I went to my doctor and explained I was questioning if I was going through a bit of a depression - something I had never wanted to fall into! Why? I don't really know but I guess it's because I feel like everyone around me is doing okay. No one seems to miss her like I do, or if they do they don't show it, or ever talk about it!
I was given anti depressants and was determined to try and get my life back on track.
I really struggle at this time of year - so many memories of my mums final month, along with my birthday without her and other things that remind me of the horrible time 6 years ago. I want to feel myself again, and I worry I'll never get there. But I don't know I'm suffering from depression or this is just me now. Am I changed because I have to live without her? Will I ever be happy again? Or feel like a 'normal' person?