1/16 journal

[Kainan]

So another week has gone by and it has been a total waste. I made a schedule and knew exactly what I wanted to do, but I still did nothing. There's this nagging voice inside of me telling me to stop being lazy and get of my butt, but my body and mind remains unwilling to cooperate. I always tell myself before I fall asleep that tomorrow will be different but it never is. There is one good this though. For some reason I can fall asleep at night now, something that has eluded me for months. Maybe I should just remain patient and not try to rush things too much.

[Hidden]

Hi instead of making a schedule try just having one thing you would like to achieve. Maybe you are trying to do too much at once? Make it something really simple and work up from there.

It is very hard trying to get yourself moving with depression isn't it? I have the same problem. x

[Kainan in reply to Hidden]

Hi. Yes, it's an absolute nightmare. if there's just one thing I could do it would be exercise. I even made a workout plan that should at the very least get me back into the habit of working out. Thanks for the advice. I've been thinking the same thing

[ladeda]

Hi kainan, glad to hear you have managed to improve getting off to sleep, maybe this is indicating that you are making great advances in yourself so please don't let yourself think otherwise.

Also at the end of these days when you are able to feel a little relaxed and giving yourself positive thoughts for the following day, take a little time to reflect back on your day, don't focus on what you did not achieve but give a smile on what was good? Try not to say there was nothing, as there is usually something you can find to build on even when we are feeling very low it's possible to find very small things like the effort of getting out of bed, dressed and doing the basics. This can help the mind realize you do achieve much more than you think and more importantly as you mood lifts you start to get better at fitting more things in that you want to do.

If you are not doing what you really want in your day, ask yourself what you are doing instead that you would rather not have done? What this does is let you reflect on maybe what you want, if you are doing relaxing things that you do enjoy, well sod the world for all those jobs you are berating yourself for not achieving, don't wash scrub clean just because you think you should and don't call yourself lazy if you don't.

Sometimes I think half our problems are inflicting shame and guilt on ourselves for what we think we should achieve. Every one of us is imperfect and unique, we develop little by little in moulding our lives to be as they are, we never remain the same and just continue doing this until our brains can no longer function.

Happiness and contentment is not about what we have managed to fit into each day, but more about experiencing that day as it is, without comparing ourselves by what others do or achieve. Don't ever expect each day to be a good one that would be like expecting a miracle,

Your journal sounds a great idea, think I might try that, but don't let your thoughts and personal expectations end up piling heaps of to-do's on your shoulders, it sounds a too heavy load to carry. Sometimes we can really achieve so much by not actually trying.

I hope today you can look out at the snow and smile and say today I am not going to care and just do what I feel like doing :😆

[Kainan]

Hi. Thanks for advice I find it very hard to just relax. Like, my mind is always on the go. If I'm not doing something I feel tired and like I've wasted time. That's why depression and anxiety gets the best of me every year. I need to work on experiencing every day as it is.

[ladeda]

I know how you feel, I get exhausted very quickly and feel I use that as an excuse not to do some of the things that I want to do, as well as I know they would help me and make me feel much better. But I do find it helps if I don't beat myself up and just tell myself I will get back to how I know I can be (more organized and getting things done).

The best thing to have is a buddy who also wants to do the same things, (also not what I have anymore) when I was young I had a friend I would go jogging with and there would be lots of times I wouldn't have gone but didn't like the idea of letting her down and she said the same, but because we would go together it also motivated us to go at other times alone.

I wish there was more groups for people suffering from depression and anxiety, maybe like AA where they have a buddy they can call on when things get bad, sometimes it seems so difficult to go it alone and we just need someone in a similar position who understands and supports. Which is why this site works so well, there is not much you can do when deep in the grips of depression, but as we come out of it it's so nice to reach out a helping hand so that we're not alone.

Winter like your low spirits is not going to stay, it's often just the little changes that we keep introducing into our daily lives the end up making huge differences, so it could be important to not convince ourselves that something isn't working, I think most of us can fall into that trap as its just easier for our brains, human nature sucks sometimes, but just a little more determination and we can succeed.

Keep fighting you will get there, lots of hugs. Moni xx

[Alliecatt]

Hi. This is the very first post im reading and responding to on this site. I do not have any advice but I just wanted to let u know that I am goingthrough the EXACT same thing. The procrastination and promises to get moving tomorrow... I make lists of things I know i have to do.... Then i have been putti g them off. I know i am not a lazy person. I know I have depression issues... But I have been getting panicky because I feel as if there is a huge clock above my head just tick tocking away!!! I don't want to be this way as I am sure you don't either.... But I dont know what to do. It is definitely a tough spot to be in and an awful feeling. Just know you are not alone!!!

[Kainan in reply to Alliecatt]

Hi. Welcome to the site

[Kjb1980]

Hi

Please don't feel like last week was a waste I have a list of things to do most of the time and somedays I can do lots and others I can do barely one thing. I rushed something a while back and it threw me into turmoil as I was pushing myself to fast to soon. Try for one thing a day but don't get disheartened if you dong do it , maybe if it's possibly someone could help you. Glad your getting some sleep that's so important. Take care xx