Cant take it anymore!

[mrsherondale]

I am trying so hard to set my sleep schedule right but the whole day i feel sleepy and at night I feel my heart is fluttering and my breaths make it skip beats. I feel terrible all morning. My head feels like there is something cold in it and it feels like it isn't there. And my chest hurts sometimes and I feel I am depersonalized all day. I feel so detatched. I see my friends moving on with life. They have all the things I want. They sleep properly and don't have to struggle like I have to. They are in universities and med school which is something I crave so bad. I'm so tired of trying and failing. One of my friends got in by paying extra for a seat and another because her family was full of doctors. And I feel sad because they have what i want so bad but they don't have to work harder even though they had lesser marks than me. I feel left behind. And lonely. I feel lost within myself while the world is moving on. i feel like a failure. And i feel nothing good will ever happen for me. I have been suffering for so so long. And nothing good is happening to me. Its all becoming too much now. I want good to happen now. 😔😔😔 idk how to deal with disappointment because my previous books of MCAT are just making me sick to my stomach. I can't touch then but I can't get in without them.

[Hidden]

Hi it will take longer than a few days to reset your sleep clock so be patient and it will come in time. Have you been to the doctors yet about how you are feeling? If not you need to go and get a diagnosis and some help. x

[mrsherondale in reply to Hidden]

They always say anxiety. And they give me meds to calm me down but they put me to a sleepy state where I can't sleep or stay up and my body feels more numb. So I stop taking it. I think i recover better by sharing and reading self help books. Can you suggest any?

[Kainan in reply to mrsherondale]

Hi. I understand completely where you're coming from because I often times feel the same way, that other people are moving on and I'm stuck here forever, when I'm depressed and anxious and without energy. But you know what, you don't know that as a fact. Everyone experiences difficulties because life is hard and almost never goes the way you'd expect it to. They may be dealing with something that is very distressing to them; you just never know.

Exercise is something you should consider. It increases levels of activity in your brain, makes you happy, and banishes worry, which is a robber of joy. Even if it's only for 10min a day, it can help you sleep easier. A light walk outside in the sunshine should do the trick.

With regards to self help books. A few good ones are:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie ( I highly recommend this one)

Positive Energy by Judith Orloff

Limitless by Nick Vujicic

[mrsherondale in reply to Kainan]

I know. But they make it seem like life is so easy. I'm not so good at hiding emotions. I'll try exercise. Thank you

[Hidden in reply to mrsherondale]

Paul McKenna "I can make you sleep" and others in the series. I found very good and challenged some of my assumptions.

[mrsherondale in reply to Hidden]

Thank youu