Depression and IBS

[ivesy]

Hi everyone, ive been following this feed for sometime but this is my first post. I wanted to give you the background of my situation. Just under 5 years ago i developed bad IBS including no appetite, diarrhea and nausea. Could the fact that i got married, moved out of home and got a new job at the same time and i was a bit of a mess. I had numerous tests to rule out naything more sinister and was labelled with IBS and prescribed Amitriptyline to take every night before bed. I had a particularly bad flare up a few months back after a holiday to america. Since then ive been really down and have a suspicion that I might be experiencing depression. I have no apetite, struggling to concentrate at work, have developed a terrible memory, find myself just sitting and staring, borke down in tears to my wife a couple of weeks ago as just felt like i couldnt cope anymore, suffering from a lot of nausea. Interestingly i had a week holiday last week and felt pretty well. But now that i am back into my daily routine im starting to feel down again. I guess im just looking for your thoughts and suggestions. I know that was a fairly lengthy post so thankyou for reading and for any advice. For what its worth im a 27 year old male.

[ladeda]

Hi there, you have a very difficult situation, a bit like the chicken and egg scenario, is your depression making the IBS worse or is the IBS causing the depression? Are you managing to find enough information on the physical side effects of this on your system, I think there is also a support forum on this site that may also help you.

It could be that you need a particular vitamin or mineral that could make all the difference and lift your spirits no end? but whatever you need at least with something like depression you can and should treat the symptoms as well as the cause. But also insist on more blood tests to just test your vit E & D levels.

I hope your place of work is supporting you through this, sometimes they just Ned to be aware if you are having troubles so that they can offer the support you need at this time, don't ever see it as a sign of weakness, as people with depression are often stronger than others but it's directed in the wrong direction.

From what you have said your life has gone through many changes in the past few years and maybe you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders trying to be what is expected of you? and in this only you can answer what makes you happy and what is blocking that. That's why sometimes requesting counselling from your GP is a good first step as a trained councillor can help talk through how you feel and how you can improve your mindset.

Sometimes depression can be eased simply by talking a pill, but more often than not it will be a life long learning curve where you keep introducing little things into your daily life that will keep you grounded and able to cope. Just searching YouTube you can find no end of little techniques that may help.

I hope this journey takes you to many nice places along the way that will help give you those extra coping skills that will help not just now but all those times in the future when you might just find yourself standing under a dark cloud.

Take care, Moni xx

[ivesy in reply to ladeda]

Moni thankyou so much for your kind words! It is indeed a difficult scenario. In all honesty i do not know which is triggering which. All i know is that over the past 5 years ive gone through fazes of emotional lows and im definitely in the middle of the worst one. I think if im being honest i feel like im meant to do more in my life than work in an office Monday to Friday 9 - 5. I used to do a lot of voluntary work before being married and having responsibilities and never felt this way then, even though I still had symptoms of my IBS, I used to enjoy my days. I worked part time at that time and was working to support me in my voluntary work, so it never seemed that bad. Dont get me wrong i have a good job now and a great manager but I just dont feel like im making a difference to anything, does that make sense? I also haven’t expressed how im feeling to my manager, im just afraid that this may make them look at me differently.

But this is where I feel trapped, I cant just get up and leave my job no matter how much I would like too. I still need to support myself and my family. My wife is amazing and supportive but I know that how im feeling isn’t fair on her and I know she senses my unhappiness. I caught her crying by herself and digging deeper she expressed that she doesn’t like seeing me feel unhappy. I reassured her that its nothing that she has done, but I still feel so guilty for this. I sometimes think having an extended period of time off might help to get my head straight, but then again will it just make matters worse?

I guess I just feel lost and trapped and whats worse is I know what I would like to do but I cant see any way to attain it, which is probably making matters worst. Maybe sitting down and expressing myself to someone who has a fresh view on things might be able to provide some suggestions on how to proceed.

[ladeda in reply to ivesy]

No you wouldn't want to leave your comfortable job at the moment, but that doesn't mean you won't do it next week, next month or whatever you feel the time is right for taking a risk and doing what you would really like to do. For now your priority is just getting some support and help, and taking each day as it comes and not being too afraid of the future before it has even arrived.

Your wife is also afraid, of course she is. If given the choice it can be far easier to be ill than watch someone you love suffer and feel helpless to know how to help. But you must accept this, feeling guilty will only make it worse, and you have nothing to blame yourself for.

You are learning a lot about yourself at the moment, if you can just try to reassure both yourself and your wife that you will get through this.

Remember, at the end of the day all your life choices will be yours and yours alone, some will be perfect and some you will regret but carry moving forward and learning from them, after all that's what life is all about, we can only move forward,but living is something you can only do in the moment xx

[ivesy in reply to ladeda]

You make so much sense. I keep thinking to myself, why do I feel this way. I have a good job, a great wife, loving family and a nice home. Ok I suffer from IBS which can make things hard but I know others have it so much worse so I cant understand why I feel so sad all the time! Not sure if I mentioned this previously but I was on holiday at the lakes last week and I barely had any of these feelings. Then a day after getting home, BANG! Im back feeling sad and down. Im sat at work writing this just wishing I could leave. Can I speak to a counselor without seeing my GP first or do I have to go through them? Ive mentioned how I feel before to them but never received much help, albeit I was mainly focusing on my IBS symptoms. Thankyou all for your kind responses. Ive not told anyone except from my wife how im feeling and it really does help!

[Olderal]

I would discuss the contents of your post with your GP. Be totally frank with him/her. If it is depression you probably need medical help , and as I've said before the mechanic can't fix the car unless you tell him exactly whats wrong with it. Not true for cars but true for humans.

Olderal