Waking up with Anxitey

[Sandraan]

I wake up every morning with the worst Anxitey I'm terrified, how can I live like this, I'm terifed of the future I just don't feel I'm ever getting over this had it bad since January I just can't take anymore I'm not living just battling through each hour, I'm so alone, sad, and very frightened I can't get out of this X

[Gambit62]

All I can tell you about is what worked for me and there are no guarantees, unfortunately that it will work for you - namely mindfulness.

Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world' Mark Williams and Danny Penman.

Book comes with a CD of meditations to follow.

The idea of mindfulness is relearning the ability to distinguish yourself from your thoughts ... and then to be able to make the conscious decision not to be caught up in the vicious spiral of thoughts that is dragging you down.

One turning point for me - I used to really struggle with suicidal thoughts - was realising that they were a bit like unwanted callers and I was just sitting there in the house hiding behind the couch hoping they would go away all the time when all I really needed to do was open the door and politely tell them to go away and then just go back to what I wanted to do.

I know that sounds a lot easier than it feels it will be. I thought it would take me months to change the way I was reacting but in fact it took less than a week to get to the point where the reaction was 'oh - suicidal thought - must be feeling a bit stressed - going to go and do something relaxing' ... where as before it had all been about why am I having these thoughts - where are they coming from - what should I be doing ... and the thoughts just getting worse.

As I understand the part of the brain that deals with anxiety and fear is very primitive and still stuck in cave-man mode where you either needed to stand stock still or run like the wind so it works by sending you images of the danger. Great if it is a bear at the back of the cave but not so easy to understand if the cause is the stress and strain of modern life ... because the image that you get - eg a suicidal thought - can so easily make you even more stressed so more images of the same in a hugely vicious circle.

Hope you manage to find some respite.

I found the mediation on dealing with difficulty really helpful for me - looking at the way my body was reacting was just enough to take the focus off the thoughts and let me find the space to calm down.

[Sandraan in reply to Gambit62]

Hi gambit, firstly thank you so very much for taking the time to read and answer my post, I really am stugglung at the moment, ( like you did ) PLEASE please don't think I'm bring negative I'd love nothing more than to read a book, ( I will try ) but Iv got no interest at the moment ( I loved getting magazines couldn't wait to read them) But now I get them do the crossword and give them away, I so desperately want to change and il at least try ( I just don't want people thinking I'm coming on here all the time and not trying, I fight it everyday and constantly remember what Advise Iv been given on here by lovely caring people like yourself, I'm so very grateful thank you so much, il see about getting that book. Many thanks

[Gambit62 in reply to Sandraan]

One of the awful things about depression is that the link between motivation and action gets switched so you actually have to start doing something before you feel like doing it.

It isn't so much a book as an eight week course - so plenty of time for reading as you have a week for a chapter.

I can remember what you are going through - and many on here will either remember or be in exactly the same boat at the moment, so don't feel that people here are going to think that you are complaining.

One other thing - if you haven't seen your doctor - please do go - there are a number of physical conditions that can lead to depression. I had 4 decades of depression and anxiety that turned out to be a vitamin deficiency (B12). I make sure I get the treatment I need now (not easy as it is a condition many GPs aren't aware of - certainly not in relation to psychaitric effects - there aren't good tests for it and the general regime for treating B12 absorption problems in the UK doesn't work for a lot of people.

Checklist of symptoms of B12 in case it rings any bells can be found here

pernicious-anaemia-society....

Another possibility is thyroid. These are particularly likely if you find that things get worse as the day wears on but can't be ruled out either way.

[Sandraan in reply to Gambit62]

Hi yes I'm sandraann21 ( this is an account I have until I can get back in to mine ) so will you of read many of my post beforehand I suffered 5 years of bulling by s niegjbour and her family ( known to the police ) in December the mother ( elder lady ) and her two older daughters beat me up, a few days later I was in hospital having had a breack down, I had already before this happened.server Anxitey server depression Iv now got post dramtaic stress disorder, In September of last year my friend got Married the night before I'd gotten drunk ) I don't drink) and upset her and her mum ( I can't remember a thing ) although my friend text to say she forgave me as she knew how bad I was and it made me Ill ( also leading to the breck down ) but her or her mum haven't spoken or contacted me since, I just can't forgive myself I don't no how, my counsellor has told me I'm beating and persucating myself but I honestly just don't no how to stop the thoughts and unbareable feelings ( if I could I wouldn't put myself though this ) there's just no words to say how bad I'm feeling right now, Iv had to move back in with my parents and went round to my apartment last night first time since had the breck down, I'm putting myself under a lot of pressure to go back there but I just can't do daily tasks, I can just about get up and out everyday, so like you all ask ( what you frightened of ) I can't exactly say, the only way I can explain it is I'm stuck in memories and guilty and (HONESTLY ) just don't no how to get out of it that's what TERRIFIES me, I walk around everyday anywhere TERRIFED thank you so very much for all reading and replying I'm so afraid and lonely I don't no what I'd do without you all xx

[Gambit62 in reply to Sandraan]

Really sorry to hear about the PTSD - that is a really difficult one to deal with and really does need some specialist input. However, there are techniques - based on Neuro-linguistic Programming - that can help you retrain the thought processes that are causing the problem so you do get to a point where you are just remembering rather than reliving the experience. I hope that you have managed to get a suitable referral from your GP and with time it helps.

[Sandraan in reply to Gambit62]

Hi gambit, it was after seeing my counsellor a few times and listening to my recent problems that's she was the one who found this out, I desperately need help in how to over come this, but I don't know how, I'm on Anti D and will be taking them for the rest of my days there Somthing Iv had for many years and believe my brain needs them, my doctor has recently just started me on beta blockers for the Anxitey ( I'm no so sure they work) but il give them a chance like I do with anything that may help, it gave me great hope you menchioned there are techniques to get over these problems PLEASE can you give me anymore advice about this, I would be so very grateful to you, hope your ok ? Thank you for your help x

[Gambit62 in reply to Sandraan]

There are specialist counsellors who deal with PTSD but would probably take forever to get access to one on NHS.

Is there a local mind group that you could join - that might help you build up some of your confidence and give you an environment where you can share what is going on face to face without fear of being judged which would probably help a lot - Mind isn't the only charity that does things like that - we have another local one called restore who run activities such as gardening to help rehabilitate.

Not sure that I really know where to go to find PTSD specialists - there are some charities that have specialists - such as combat stress - but that is with a particular focus on incidents that happened in the forces.

Have you spoken to your councellor about it - they are probably more likely to be able to give you advise that is relevant to where you are.

As I understand it PTSD occurs because of a short-circuit in one part of the brain. The triggers may not be obvious but once the trigger goes off you aren't remembering the event you are relieving it. Talking with your counsellor may help you identify exactly what the trigger is and once you know that you can work out the way to deal with it. About 25%+ of the population have this response to traumatic events so you certainly aren't alone.

[loisfriday in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit62,

I can't thank you enough for the B12 link. The symptom list reads like a description of my day to day life. I've had stomach problems for the last year and I'm going to ask my GP to investigate further when I see her next week. I feel more hopeful than I have in a long time at the thought that something as simple as B12 injections or a supplement may make me feel better. Thank you!

[Gambit62 in reply to loisfriday]

Strongly recommend that you join the PAS forum on Health Unlocked if you think B12 is the issue - getting a diagnosis is often an uphill battle as it is something GPs are not as aware of as they should be. Unfortunately dagnosis only the first battle. hope you have a good GP who listens but just in case you feel like you are being treated like a mad person the PAS forum is a good place to get support and reassurance that you aren't alone.

[Olderal]

Hello Sandraan, you will get out of it and you've shown great courage already by enduring this bad spell since January.

You don't appear to say in your posts whether you've seen your GP or not but I presume you have (if you have n't why not and you should make an appointment quickly ). I have n't had anxiety, just depression and the anxiety that can come with that which is not too bad and probably does n't count.

Do you know what you are anxious about or do you just feel anxious about something undefined ? Its very hard to give useful advice when we don't know if you've seen a doctor , been prescribed anything , and whether you have specific anxieties . However my guess is that you are no more important in the world than I am ,or millions of other ordinary people.

What have you got to be anxious about ? You're not creating the general mess the world is in and you can't do much to improve things. When you wake up terrified just try and think of this and relax . There are no secret police to knock on your door , no SS or Gestapo coming , no grim reaper with a scythe outside your place. Keeping things in perspective if you had this lot and a few others I could name as enemies you would have reason to be anxious. Just relax,what's the worst that could happen to you today compared with execution , interrogation , torture ? Not much I would imagine so just take some deep breaths, and take an extra five minutes in bed . Quite a luxury compared with the options I've listed.

If you can successfully imagine these awful options (which you know are n't true ) , what you have will seem to be so much less terrifying. It works with everything, imagination. For instance when anyone snores in a room I'm in and I reach the point where I'm near strangling them I just imagine I'm sleeping in a very dangerous place (like the jungle , say) and that the snoring is my pet T. Rex who protects me from anything. If you can do it really well the more they snore, the safer you feel. You have no idea how many people have avoided strangulation because of my imagination.

Sorry if I have n't helped much but I'm not that knowledgeable on anxiety and you have n't given much to go on.

Olderal

[loggerslot]

sandraan, you have no reason to be terrified of the future. since we don't know what's there then we shouldn't worry about it. Just like you are living as time goes by, live as each day goes and as each week goes by. you did the brave thing to come here and tell us what you are going through, were you scared of that? no it's a positive step you didn't envision doing. use your time actively to do things that interest you, that is one way to beat the anxiety and might help overcome the loneliness you feel. if you have friends then try not to avoid them but meet up with them and enjoy your time. any positive steps you take, take them step at a time and please try not to be put off by doing things. if you are then take a break but come back with the mind set that you want to do this. also remember to beat this you need to take courage from yourself to take these positive steps and we all know its not that easy but you have to fight through these mental barriers that exist. if you haven't already done so then it would advisable to see your GP and start off therapy like CBT or counselling.

Do you have a relative or friend you can talk to or someone who can support you through your difficult time?

[Allestklar123]

Hi It sounds awful to wake up feeling scared of the future. I am wondering what is it about the future that makes you feel scared. I guess no one knows what will happen. I can think of times when things have looked really bad and the future has been scary for me. I can look back now and realise that many of the things that made me feel bad didn't happen or of they did I coped. Looking back I feel some pride in having overcome difficult situations.

Ally

[Sandraan]

Than you all so much for replying il explain later I just feel really bad right now I'm getting ready to go out, the frighting feeling is so overwhelming, ( the only way I can describe it right now is being like this is TERRIFING and there's no end to it ) yes Iv saw doctors I'm on anti D and just recently a beat blocker but please stay with me, I Make out to people I'm ok, but I'm so afraid I'm slipping back in to worse days. i can't explain how frightened I am xx

[Allestklar123 in reply to Sandraan]

Hi I just wanted to say that you show such courage in carrying on with your life. It must be so hard when you feel so scared. I have a hope for you and that is that it will improve. I wish you well.

[Lin1944]

Hi Sandra so sorry you still feel so bad. I know what it's like to feel fearful for no reason. If you go on Google and put mindfulness on a lot of tapes are on for you to listen to free of charge. I listen every day and they do help. Some are rubbish and the ones I like show clouds in different colours and one is called Joy.

I am in Greece now and we have had bad storms for 2 days. Last night at 2 40 am a drunken couple in next room woke us up and we couldn't get back to sleep. At 7 30 am I rang their room and woke them up. Made me laugh to get my own back. Hope to meet up with you soon love from Lin x

[skcim]

Mindfulness works, it just takes time to change a set brain and all its negative chattering.... but it will work in the end with lots of effort, as nothing comes to us without putting the effort in. Meditation is an absolute life saver for me and it is getting easier to practise and do the breathing techniques... but you have to believe in yourself. Hope this helps Sandraan x

[Hidden]

Hi Sandraan just to let you know that I have seen your post. I can't add to what's already been said. Lots of hugs. Bev xx

[Sandraan in reply to Hidden]

Hi bev, why can't you add to my post ?? I'm worried you saying that and don't really understand why ?? I haven't offended yiu in anyway have I. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Sandraan]

Hi all I meant was I can't add anything to what's been said and there is no point in my repeating all the good advice you have had.

Of course you haven't offended me at all silly billy Bev xx

[Sandraan in reply to Hidden]

Oh thank you I was worried I'd upset you xx

[JoshuaBlaze06]

At first there freaky I know! What it's hard for most to do is understand that it's just anxiety or a panic attack. Wanna know what fear doesn't like? When you challenge it!! When I felt a panic attack coming on I'd stand up and say "bring it on mother f#$%er!! And with in a couple seconds it was gone lol then I start trash talking it after it ran away and slowly stopped coming back. I get minor anxiety attacks now but I know there just that and I ain't gonna let it ruin my life! It has got you to the point you don't wanna live because of it! You need to stand back up! Life that head up and say" you ain't gonna bring me down! Your far stronger then these anxiety and panic attacks trust me! Kick its ass!