Inexplicably sad

[Allu18]

Hi... So I'm new here, I was googling around and stumbled upon this community. I'm not sure if what I feel is depression and I've never been officially diagnosed. I don't get it all the time but when I feel what I feel, I have no idea why. The best way to describe it would be like a wave. It sort of randomly washes over me every now and again. I don't feel low every day but I do 60% of the time. It's like I just want to go into a pit, or perhaps I'm already there. I feel inexplicably sad and lonely, to the extent I can no longer breath; to the extent I don't want to. I've considered how easy it would be to die, although I would never have the nerve to commit such an act, it does cross my mind often, and the thought of my family dissuades me. The world seems to go grey and the cloud above me black. I just feel so low. I've self harmed once before but the relief I felt was never the same as what I felt when I cried for a good few hours. It's really strange, it comes on without a trigger, without reason, and it just completely engulfs me, and I feel like I'm back in my hole, once again.

Does anyone else feel this? Am I the only one? What could it be?

[Hidden]

Hi it sounds like depression but no one here can diagnose you. Why not do a few online depression tests and they will give you a guide, The only one who can give you a diagnosis is a doctor so if you think you have it go and see one. There are a number of treatments available regarding ad's and counselling. x

[Hidden]

Hello

Whatever you decide you really need to see your GP and discuss your sadness. The worse thing you can do is try and put up with feelings of sadness and depression

With regard to your suicide thoughts, never take those on face value you need support here and your GP will hopefully be able to give you that support.

When people self harm it is possibly a sign of wanting to be noticed and corresponding attention as you could possibly feel so alone due to this Mental Illness.

Suicide is never worth the risk as sometimes people try then have second thoughts, this can lead in some instances where you can be seen at a hospital and you are put into recovery and you are now glad that you failed. Depending on how you have tried you can feel ok, although in several days your body would break down and the hospital would b unable to save you at that latter date.

I tried suicide several years ago and believe me when I say the attitude of Medical Staff is not what you would expect. My medications have now to be managed by my wife and She has to live every day with the worry that I would try again.

I have learned my lesson, although that makes no difference my Wife watches over me and it is Her job on top of many other domestic chores to give my medications every day.

Make that important list before you see your GP, that will assist you in explaining your problem. Hopefully you will be given some form of treatment to lighten your load

BOB

[Evelynarnold]

Hi there, yes I can certainly relate to your symptoms!! It's just a deep slump and your not in control of it. I feel better when I keep busy and I'm around nice supportive people who don't judge me. I wish there was a magic switch that turns the feelings of, but that would be to easy! Your not alone and it is depression. The symptoms differ in everyone. Today it's raining and I'm on my own at home tryimg not to think to much. Feel free to msg me anytime. I truly understand how you feel. Elaine.

[Allu18]

Thanks guys I'll have a chat with my mum about sorting out a doctor/nurse appointment.