My future...

I'll go straight to my point..so I'm going to graduate after next year and what constantly troubling me is about the courses I have to choose.I got really depressed about this matter that it kind of make me afraid to grow up and move on in life.I'm really stressed because my other family members are very successful and I don't want to let them down..I felt useless and worthless T.T what should I do?

[Suzie40]

There's no point in worrying about what your family want you to do. You're the one who has to invest the hard work, so it's important that the courses you do are the right ones for you - no one else! Making such big decisions is very scary. Do you have a careers advice service you can access? X

[Hidden in reply to Suzie40]

Thanks for your reply. Actually my parents did suggest some careers for me but I felt that they were unsuitable for me. I always feel bad that I am not good enough like they expect me to be, like my brother. I loved arts and language, but my family isn't that supportive and always kinda deny my talent in that field.So now I ended up in science stream.Although I excel in all of my subjects, but there's none in particular that I'm really interested in. Right now I'm torn between choosing the path I like or the path that is best for me.

[Hidden]

Hi Lucy made some good points there. It must be very hard to be under so much pressure but I am sure your family would still love you even if you weren't as 'successful' as them. You are you and are unique. All you can do is your best. Have you tried talking to your family about how you feel? Have you discussed your courses with them? x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well whenever I'm with my family, I'm always scared to discuss this topic with them.I always got discouraged as there's always sarcasm in their words,like they kind of look down on me and my capability. I always pushed myself to my limits and tried my very best to prove them wrong. I even scored all As in my exam but what disappoints me the most is they didn't even care at all.Everytime.I really don't feel that they are satisfied and proud of me for once.Thats why I always feel lost and hopeless.

[Hidden]

Hi it sounds like your parents are perfectionists and it is very hard to live up to their standards. My advice for what it is worth is that it is your life and you should follow your dreams and take the courses you want not what they want. You have to live your life not them even if they don't approve of how you want to spend it.

The trouble with perfectionists is that they are never satisfied and spend their lives desperately trying to achieve more. You will never meet their standards no matter how hard you try so you need to set your own standards and try and meet those. Does that make sense? That is the grown up thing to do and they will respect you for that even if they disapprove of your choices. Do you understand that?

You are NOT useless and worthless but they have made you feel that way because they only want the best for you. Have you tried to tell them how they are making you feel? x

[WantToChange]

Sometimes it is hard ti feel like you acn never please you parents. Trust me, I know about that.

In terms of uni, try not to stress about the courses. Maybe write a for and against list to help you pick the correct one?