I am 65 and trying to get over break-up after 15 years. I am taking Mirtazapine 45mg and have been given diazepam to use as and when I need them. I have had depression on and off for years but now it is worse than ever. Every day is a struggle, the hurt I feel inside is unbearable and just cry, so most days at some point I take a diazepam and go to bed feeling I have nothing to live for and just want to sleep to make everything go away. I spend day and after day, night after night alone and even when I visit my family I end up just wanting to go home to cry and curl up in bed. I do occasionally have lighter moments when I feel I can do some jobs around the house and garden as there is only me to do them. How do I get myself out of this misery. I just want my ex back and I cannot have him.