And here I go again...

[LilyJones]

Crashing. Into oblivion. I'm tired....

I was walking home in the early hours last week and I was looking at the sky. I suddenly started crying really hard. Because I was so angry. That I wasn't made to be up there. Not in heaven, or anything, but in the sky with the pressures, and vacuums and physics.

And I was so angry, at the injustice. At the arrogance, to put something so beautiful and so connected to what I feel I am, so out of reach.

I've never been a very spiritual person. But, when I feel disconnected... I feel like its because that other part of me is up there, in the abyss.

[cld6]

Hi Lilly,

How have things been going recently? Are you getting a good amount of help & support?

I guess you're not feeling great at the moment, I understand. Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?

If you feel able enough, try to get some rest until the morning. Being tired always makes me feel even worse so I try to sleep when I can

Hope you're doing okay

Clare

[LilyJones in reply to cld6]

Erm, well, things were up for a long time, but recently I started crashing again. Not fun.

[cld6 in reply to LilyJones]

That must be difficult now to come back down after feeling good for a while. Keep posting & getting whatever is bothering you off your chest, it really does do a world of good

[Stilltrying_]

Yes I agree with Clare, you must try and rest as lack of sleep and lack of proper food can really make all the difference with mood. I understand your despair Lilly, I often feel it myself. I have offered to support you via PM and meeting up and that offer is still there. Gemmalouise x

[LilyJones in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks Gemmma

[Stilltrying_]

PS Sorry, meant to say I am out walking today so can't PM you today but what I mean is in the longterm as we're in the same city I am able to support you if you want. Gem x

[Hidden]

Lily, basic care - sleep or try to 8 hours a night, at night time. Eat regular meals. Moderate exercise 5 times a week. Take your meds.

For things spiritual, it depends on your personal perspective but I caution you against any faith group that's into saying your mental ill health will be cured by faithful adherence to some set of rules. I attend Quakers who at least don't expect you to have figured out answers

[Gambit62]

Lilly, what you are describing is that you are starting to lose touch with reality. Please go back to your Psychiatrist and your GP and please start taking the anti-psychotics that were prescribed.

[LilyJones in reply to Gambit62]

No. I do take my meds..... I don't remember saying anywhere on the post that I don't...

[Gambit62 in reply to LilyJones]

I am really glad to hear that you are taking your medication. It wasn't something on this post but on a previous post.

Please tell your psychiatrist about your experience next time you see them. It may be that the levels need adjustment.

[Photogeek in reply to LilyJones]

Hi Lily

Glad to hear from you , good to hear you are taking your Medication

But I suppose at times we can all get angry at the way we

Are, goes go with it and have. Cry if you feel like crying

Make sure and eat well and get your sleep. It might be a

Help if you kept a basic diary of your moods, then your

Doctor might know better how you are.

Hugs to you

Hannah x

[gardengnome]

not sure what to make of your situation, from what you write you recognize it is bad. Don't know when you last spoke to your doctor?

But something about it does shine at least some star-light, if not sun-light on you. that you are feeling the beauty in the universe, and can connect it to yourself.