Delayed reaction...and i just need something...

[Raynbow34]

Hi everyone, i started seeing someone from work in march. We had been chatting for some time so got to know each other pretty well. In a nutshell, his ex went crazy and made all sorts of allegations. I supported him through all this. I then found he was was woo-ing his first wife (diff to ex), anyway from march to august all i did was support him. Only in turn to be cheated on and kicked to the curb. Any other time I would have got over this except the guy works with me. I have tried all sorts; meet him for closure, he just doesnt show, tactical avoidance, however its horrible. My work have been brilliant and supportive, yet the underlying issues is work. It feels like i have to get on with work, however, i know this is a delayed reaction, so where people are thinking get over it...its difficult as my trauma is still raw. I developed anxiety ad i really thought i was losing the plot, i stopped eating, i passed out in a supermarket, i struggle to breathe, i leave the office when he is in....i have gone from being an ace worker to someone who is drifting. I really dont like being like this, i dont want to, it has shocked me and how i feel has shocked me. This guy was going to marry me etc...i dunno, i am 35 this year, i have had many a ups and downs and this has been some crash landing. I know when i dont see him at work I am fine. And i know if he wasnt there i would be out of sight and out of mind. I am now thinking of taking a new job even if it means a pay cut...well at least findning a job. Is this silly? As in all honesty, the only person suffering is me...i did get offered a job a while back, down south and i freaked out when it came to accepting. I knw i need to stay in the same town as my friends are here....though i really dont think i can cope with these feelings anymore....i am just worried there is going to be no1 to stop me walking off a cliff and i really need to so something to help myself.....i feel like i am cracking up. I have a few days off next week and i am hoping when i go back i will b a bit better....i just dont think i can work in the same place as him. He presents as mr nice guy and naturally people at work have to be amicable...i have looked into counselling and today someone suggested the works counselling. I just feel like it doesnt matter what i do...the problem/him/my feelings will b there while we in same work place. My friends have said i suffered a real heartbreak...and i know i am over the worst of it...but really...its in my face....i just want to be far far away....

[Suzie40]

I really understand this post. Some years ago I had a relationship with a guy I work with. We never made it official, instead choosing to meet in secret. I can't really remember the chain of events, but I know he lost interest way before I did and I found it really hard. He seemed to just wash his hands of me and I took it really badly. After a while he started dating another girl from the place we work and in time they got married. I couldn't cope and my depression spiralled. He barely spoke to me and all I wanted to do was work somewhere else. What I will say, is that time is a healer. However cliche that sounds. It's taken several years but I would say our friendship is back to about 70% of what we had originally.

[Raynbow34]

Hi Lucy, i know everyone says time is a healer...tho to be honest our relationship was different in the sense i really did help him etc and to find he was actively seeking out his ex wife...and just carried on lying...who does that at 39!!! Dudes gonna b 40 next year...i have been away this weekend and noticed i job i was offered a month ago is still vacant.....i am tempted to see if i can still get it...only thing is,mthe future is not too sae with the job, and it is moving away...though i think i need to be honest and think, can i really work with this guy? I am the only one suffereing and maybe i do just need to go,....