Get Yr Geek On...

[ThemysciraDrive]

The fruits of my weekend at the London Film and Comic Con - series 1 of Dr Who signed by Billie Piper (and Noel Clarke on the other side) and Withnail and I signed by Paul McGann...couple of other things as well but they are uber-geek stuff that nobody else would know Billie Piper was very kind - also signed my little sis' 21st birthday card for nothing though she's not supposed to.

Was a good weekend - though lots of sitting around guzzling coffee waiting for my autographs. They run the popular people's queues like a supermarket deli - you go up and get a numbered ticket and then wait until the queue for that person shows a number higher than yours, then you can join the queue when you like.

Lots of stalls to wander around as well, you find loads of random stuff to admire - like the cupcake of doom - and also to scour for something small as a memento of the weekend. And there were a couple of female wrestlers signing, and, well, eye candy is never unappreciated

On Thursday I fly to New York with mum and the little sis for her birthday. Dad can't go as his pacemaker is playing up. While there I am spending a day at New York Comic Con - that will be crazy geekdom overload. Having my picture taken with Stan Lee, and Chloe Grace Moretz

Feel a bit...resigned tonight. Enjoyed the weekend but feeling a bit low now. Not feeling very happy with myself...think it's a combination of self-confidence running on empty and feeling lonely. I don't feel very attractive, in either the physical or personality sense.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

[Jeffju]

Sounds as though you had a great weekend at the Comic con.... my son-in-law would like that I bet. And off to New York,how I envy you. I have never been there and hope that you have a great time . Sure you will.

You could be feeling a bit low after your great weekend. Is there any geeky !! ,haha, club or organisation near you that you could join and meet like minded people.? My confidence always goes lower when I am out of contact with people and I tend to get more anxious too.That's why I like being at work.

When we are low we always think the worst. I am sure you are a very nice person .Don't worry overly about physical appearances. I am no oil painting but I do my best to try and look tidy and presentable.

ENJOY New York.... lucky you. Julie xx

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Jeffju]

Thanks Julie - I know, I felt bad that I wasn't excited about NY, I should be! Bit more so about it now. I have had a productive day today and managed to sort some things out which have taken some sources of stress away, so looking forward to it a bit more now.

I think a lot of the problem is that I don't really feel like I "fit" anywhere...I'm sort of part geek, part sports nut, part quiet bookish type and part metrosexual (the 'rents were convinced I was gay for a while, found that quite amusing). But I seem to have that eclectic mix where I'm not really fully part of any sort of group.

Don't know why I was worrying about appearance, I don't usually. Got a bit more conscious of it lately but even so, don't usually worry unduly.

[Gambit62]

Glad you had a good weekend and managed to get most of the signatures you wanted.

The down may just be the end of the up - think sometimes depression isn't so much about the down an as the swings - like a damper has gone and the point at which you should stop isn't the point where you stop - and you carry on going down a little more than you should. Are there some voices from your ex that are going in to overdrive - they aren't valid. It will all come together - probably when you least expect it.

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Gambit62]

I'm not sure if its just general swings or something more fundamental...I don't seem to be able to get everything working at once. Better with domestics and admin type stuff at the moment, but my discipline with money has evaporated, almost overdrawn - fortunately have only a few days to get through before NY which I already have money for, then I get paid while I'm out there.

Seems like something is always not working. You're probably right about voices from the ex being loud as well.

[Gambit62 in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

Even Superman never manages to get everything all going right at the same time so try not to let that get you down - most superheros are struggling to get one thing going right

[Photogeek]

It sounds as if you had a great weekend, and got some great stuff. Now after

All that stimulation I think it's natural to feel a bit of a low, bit like post holiday blues.

Plus the fact your off work at the moment means you probably miss the social

Interaction you get from work colleagues.

I would say as well it's the ex withdrawal issues seeping in too and the confidence

Has taken a knock, I will say this only once. You are gorgeous and bright and witty and

Imprint that on your geeky brain right now. Make sure and have your showers

Every day and wear some nice jeans and stuff and you will feel much better. Go

To the gym too as that will give you that extra help to look and feel well.

How about you treat yourself to some new clothes in NY . Now the money , be careful

As this is often an indicator of the high part of the mood. So watch this. Because now

You are aware of it but sometimes that can escalate and it's spend spend spend.

Are you taking your Meds as directed, be honest with yourself about this, maybe

You need to talk to Dr. If your mood gets worse and get your Meds adjusted.

Have a great time in NY and enjoy every minute of it. Hope you don't mind my motherly lecture.

Hugs

Hannah

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah. That's a good point about work - I went to the docs today as I had to get a fit note, because my signed off period runs out in the middle of NY holiday so can't go straight back. But I'm glad to be going back after NY. Think I would get cabin fever with another two weeks off.

I think my confidence took such a hammering during and after my relationship that, whilst it is still there, it only takes a feather touch to knock it down and then it needs to be picked up again. The slightest thing rips it apart. And then I feel bad for relying on other people to pump it up all the time and draining their energy keeping me up. Thank you for the kind words though they do help a lot.

I am getting better over the days...mood yo-yos an awful lot, to quite drastic extremes but I am getting back into a good zone. Have got myself back into the gym the last week, and making a better go of all the domestic stuff. The money thing is the reverse with me...I spend it because I'm low and it's an artificial high. And I lose discipline when I'm low, it becomes like a self-destructive thing. When I'm feeling better I control it a lot more.

Have been taking my meds properly, and I can see them helping over time.

Anyway, how are you doing at the moment?

[Photogeek in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

Ah thanks for asking. Yes I know I treat myself too with retail

Therapy if I feel down. , it's like a self medicating. I am feeling much better and making good .

Progress and getting back into the things I like , Photography and painting. I realise where I need to change things and I am

Setting some goals too which is good.

The only thing I'm worried about is that I get so much more

Tired than usual . I was always a high energy type but since I

Had pleurisy about eight weeks ago, I just get tired so

Easily so I am going to GP this week and talk to him about

It. I know it's not the Depression kind of tiredness it's a

Totally different kind of beast.

I think you will be glad to get back to work, keep up the gym

And don't underestimate. The negative effects of a toxic

Relationship. It's natural to be fragile after that, but you will

Get stronger. Just try and enjoy yourself without pressure

To be anything except you. You have lots of time for relationships,

Take the pressure off yourself and just indulge yourself.

Oh yes and I find this Forum is great as you honest feedback

Which really helps.

Big hug to you.

Hannah

[Jeffju]

Sounds a bit like my son-in-law. Very clever young man, has a PhD. Loves reading , is training for 1/2 marathon, easy going but can be a little awkward socially until you get to know him. Lovely bloke and so right for my daughter.... we are very lucky. New York, New York..... Woopee!!!!!! Julie xx