Thank you everyone for your comments on my last blog.
Cant stop thinking about what if he was seeing her while we was together, its making me anxious and i cant breathe. Ive text him to say to speak later, i need to no the answer.
God i dont no what im gna do if he was....it will kill me.
im so tired, couldnt sleep last night 
ive tried to take a nap and i cant drop off either.
Off my food again aswell, oh i was doing so well how dissapointing.
Did you speak to him?
Much love x
Yeah I did, he said he didnt do anything while we was together and i do believe him.
Said when she found out me and him had split up she kind of made her move but it was her choice to end it cos it wasnt working. he said maybe he was using her a bit just to make himself feel better.
Asked him would he go back to her if she changed her mind...and he said probs not cos if it wasnt working before then it wouldnt now.
He still wants to meet up and misses me and all that sh!t...Asked me if i still wanted to meet up, i just said i didnt no but i have no intention of doing in the slightest. told him i didnt want to speak to him for the remainder of my course. said id not been as happy in ages as i have been the past month, he got really annoyed about that thinking that i hadnt been happy when i was with him, which is true to be fair but just had to blag him and say i ment since we had split up.
so he said he will wait for me to text him....he will be waiting a long time.
he asked again if i had been with anyone so i said again i wasnt going to discuss it. after all he didnt tell me that i found out (unfortunatly) through someone else.
i do feel a bit better, less anxious now. but now scared they will get back together. i just dont think i could handle it.
if they both didnt work there then fair enough cos id never have to know, but this way he will leave work at the end of May and she will still be there and i may hear things =/
its been a horrible day. feel so tired but bet if i tried i wouldnt be able to sleep
x
I'm going to be very, very blunt.
I've been reading your posts about this relationship and the only thing I can say about it is this;
It's poison.
The break up of a relationship in which you invested a lot of emotion and time is a terrible thing,
It hurts, it aches, it makes one cry like a baby.
One cannot sleep, hears the other person in one's mind and sees their face everywhere one goes - as Edith Piaf once sang.
The care and security one felt is gone and an huge void is left behind, a hole that it feels will never be filled.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
But it is over.
This guy you have been seeing sounds like so many other people in this world.
He isn't good, he isn't bad, he is just a guy.
He might have been very special to you and I'm sure at certain points you were very special to him.
But it is over.
Your paths ran in parallel for a period of time, but now they have diverged.
His life and your life are no longer linked.
It is over.
It doesn't matter if he is going out with someone else, it doesn't matter if he sends you text messages, it doesn't matter if he professes to still have feelings for you - even if that is true - it doesn't natter whether he lies or tells the truth.
Your relationship is over.
You are now the most important person in your life.
You are now the one you have to watch out for.
You are the one with a path ahead of you that leads who knows where.
This is your life and, for a time you shared it with this guy.
That is no longer the case, the relationship is over.
I'm not going to tell the old cliches, 'Plenty more fish' , 'You'll meet someone else'. 'You're still young' and all the other things that people say when your relationship is over - because at the moment it feels as if your heart has been torn out of your chest and your mind cannot imagine a world without this guy in it.
However, cliches are cliches because they are true.
I'm not passing judgement on this young man, partly because we have only read your side of the tale and partly because he is a young man - I was one myself, once, a long time ago - and young men don't always get it right.
He ought not be calling you, or sending you messages and you must try and find the strength to ask him not to.
It isn't good for either of you, because the relationship is over.
Once you figure this out, your life will start to move forward again, either as a singleton, or, in time as part of another relationship.
It really doesn't matter which, because it is your life.
Regards,
Stuart
I second that,,, but not sure shes listening. you can hear her words through the words,,why would it matter so much if he did sleep with the other woman, unless she was hoping to go back to him. would he tell the truth anyway as he wants his food prepared for him, and sex on tap !!??cheap accomodation??
some people Have to learn the hard way.
With respect, I don't think it's a case of not listening. A recent ex (especially when it's one for whom you still have feelings) 'moving on' in such a hurtful way is soul destroying. I've had it done to me and it's the biggest blow to your self esteem you can imagine. You question every aspect of your relationship, and the hurt clouds your judgement and impairs your ability to make sensible decisions. Way before you accept what has happened, and begin to move on, you go through a whole heap of crazy emotions. Jealousy, anger, hate, resentment, sadness, longing, confusion. It's a tough time.
Thanks to everyone for their comments 
But id like to make it clear that I have no intentions of going back to him. I am aware the relationship didnt work and that he needs help but just as importantly, so do i. I have been researching about the type of person I am that gets involved with bad relationships, i have accepted this and will be doing something about it when im earning enough money to seek the therapy i need. I know going back would just start the cycle over again.
However, saying all this and being ready to take the next step to improve myself and my life, doesnt mean im not going to be hurt by hearing he has "moved on" - As Suzie said very well. Also, currently I am still going to have some lingering feelings even though i know how he treated me etc.
I have come along way since we split up and am getting on with my life. Hearing that he has moved on was a set back.
Again, thank you for your comments everyone
xx
I'm just so tired 
😪 please help
Insomnia and over sleeping
