During a Depression has anyone experienced obsessive type thoughts that keep playing over and over again. Its just one horrible thought.

[Photogeek]

This is about something that happened to me 15 yrs ago and something I feel v. Guilty about. The memory keeps coming into my mind so much. And it's the first thing I think about when I wake up. It's really causing me so much worry and pain. I feel so guilty about this and feel I.am a very bad person. Even though I know I am not bad and try to do good to everyone. It's like I cannot forgive myself. This thought would have flashed into my mind sometimes in the past few years, but I felt I was able to move on from it. Over the last week it's been there so much that I am in bits. I am seeing my Dr. Next Friday and will tell him all this. Sorry if this is mixed up or unclear as its hard to explain. It's like the thought comes into my mind plus a visual picture which is exhausting me.

[Gambit62]

Definite yes to the question though in my case I think the mechanism in my brain was different - was thoughts of how nice death and dying would be - and it was being caught up in an anxiety loop - as on one level they were calming thoughts at one time but had got too intrusive and started to get disturbing so the brain was trying to calm me down with more of the same - did manage to get out of it. However, it really sounds as if what is going on with you is either much more complex or a different feed-back loop in operation.

When you were upset in the past did you find 'confessing your sins' a calming activity? May be that is what your brain is trying to do.

There is also a feedback loop that goes wrong in some people and leads to PTSD - you're in a heightened awareness to 'danger' and to keep that going your brain keeps reminding you off all sorts of 'dangerous' activities.

What worked for me when I was caught in my feedback loop was imagining the thoughts as unwelcome guests knocking at the door. I then imagined myself opening the door and politely telling them that I wasn't interested. May be you could try something similar. Just calmly thanking your brain for reminding you of something that happened in the past but saying that you don't want to remember it now because it was a single mistake in the past and it isn't who you are.

I had to do it several times before the thoughts got the message but no where near as many times as I thought I would have to do it when I came up with the strategy.

Hope you manage to get the thoughts to calm down.

[Photogeek in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you Gambit for your reply. Yes I do think this episode of misfiring neurons is more complex. I guess all our experiences and Depressions are so different. I have a lot of confidence in my Psychiatrist who I will see next Friday. Will be interesting to hear what he says. Just a thought - it really helped me to write it down here, even though its hard to explain it properly.

Have a lovely Sunday.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hello BOB here

Yes I have these thoughts, mostly they are morbid in a positive sort of way, that I will meet my old dog on the other side.

One thing that really gets me going is, I feel if I was going to take the final sanction I would have too live this life again and again. until I understand this lesson that the great beyond has set for me. Heaven forbid I come back for this.lesson more than once.

The older I get the more I feel that life is pushing me into a corner, and refuses to let me out. Sometimes I can be both frightened and depressed by this.

When you trap a rat they can come back at you with all teeth flashing, this in my eyes is now such a basic instinct and is very worrying

All the best

BOB

[Photogeek]

Hi Bob

Thanks for your reply. Yes I know what you mean about reliving our lives until

We learn the proper lessons.

Try not to feel trapped. I would love to meet all my old cats and dog again.

Hannah

[gardengnome]

obsessively dwelling on miserable thoughts is the first sign for me that I'm hitting a bad period.. My reaction to music is a big clue for me as well, if I react to sentimental songs I know it's time to take care, , to keep my temper in check, to try to count my blessings in that old fashioned corny way, to get enough sleep, and hope to hell that it only lasts a few days. For me any sort of negative thought or comment can act as a trigger if it comes at the wrong time, it seems so odd that when on good days the same thoughts can briefly pass through my head with total indifference....odd how the brain works.

[Photogeek in reply to gardengnome]

Thanks for that. Yes it's amazing how we can shake those thoughts

Off when we feel well and then they can be Iindicator of big mood drop.

Your reply is very sensible and I'm trying to look after myself much better.

Have a nice weekend.

Hannah

[lilliput]

Yes,very much so.Especially feelings of guilt, feeling useless. I find even small things like washing the kitchen floor help. Double edged sword as I physically feel awful, get behind with housework and then avoid visitors. Very tough