Recently some physical symptoms of an illness I have have become acute and I've been feeling really quite ill. My depression has got very much worse and so has the anxiety component of my depressive illness.
My CPN is useless. She visits once every six weeks, breezes in to the house, refers to me as 'my love' and then proceeds to talk to me about a holiday she's had or a Coldplay concert she went to and how great it was and how much she loves Chris Martin. She just doesn't listen to me. When I try to tell her how much worse I feel she just swats those comments away and is relentlessly, annoyingly upbeat and ignorant. She serves as a gatekeepr to my psychiatrist who I now haven't seen for 8 months.
My meds need to be reviewed and I desperately need to see him. I told my CPN all of this this the last time she saw me and she said I should see my GP and phone her if I was feeling 'low'. I did see my GP who was alarmed at the deterioration he sees in me. I called the CPN to speak to her. She wasn't available. I called the next day to be told she was off duty. I called the day after that to be told she had phoned in sick, the next day I was told she was on holiday for a week. I called a week later and once again she was off sick.
By this time I was at my wits end and feeling desperate, so I called my psychiatrist directly and spoke to his secretary. Today the CPN was back on duty and she called me, obviously unhappy that my GP had phoned my psychiatrist and said I was in a bad way and annoyed that I'd phoned my psychiatrists secretary.
This CPN is a malicious clown. I feel so terribly mentally and physically ill at the moment and it is soul destroying to think that a person who is supposed to help me is so lazy, petty and it seems vindictive. It's soul destroying to realise I have no help.
I feel trapped in a state of physical illness and deteriorating mental well being. It really is torment, and I feel I have no help now. I just can't face all of this on my own without help from my psychiatrist. My CPN seems hellbent on denying me access to him.
I suppose I'm just getting this off my chest. I know no one here can change anything. I just feel so depressed and physically ill. I've almost had enough.
Written by
JackMcG
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I'm so sorry to read of your situation, this must be soul destroying. It seems the more desperate we feel the less help available. I'm sure our members will offer supportive replies soon, so please do check back.
I have managed to calm down a bit since my phone conversation with my CPN. I've taken some diazepam.
Maybe I shouldn't have written such an extreme comment. Essentially I was letting off steam because I have no other way to do so. It helped. I appreciate your response.
Hello Jack! I'm so very sorry that you're going through a tough time, I really am.
Reading what you went through made me very, very angry. Since I'm not in the UK, I don't know what a CPN is. Could you request someone else!
Either way, she sounds like she's very self-absorbed and tripping on her on power. Don't let her incompetent attitude get to you please. It's YOUR mind, body, spirit that is SCREAMING for help so if you need to go over her head then PLEASE do so each and every time you need too.
Anyway, I'm glad you vented ... it's healing so vent away!!
It really is heart warming to receive such kind and wise words from someone who I know understands where I'm coming from.
A CPN is a community psychiatric nurse. I've had very severe bouts of depression over the years so now I've been given this nurse who visits every six weeks or so to see how I'm getting on. Sadly she's actually worse than useless. She is so lazy and talks to me in an over familiar way that I don't appreciate from a health professional.
She's also quite stupid, I hope that doesn't make me sound horrible. She seems to think that because I have a depressive illness that I must be stupid. She doesn't understand that I can see right through her. I shouldn't let her incompetence get to me.
I'm going to say that I find her difficult to work with, which is true.
Stand your ground sweetest of men: jump up and down for a new CPN. It's your well-being that is at stake here. Please see if you can get your meds reviewed ASAP.
THAT AWFUL WOMAN HAS TO GO! Man oh man, she's exceedindly lucky she doesn't have me there. Her teeth would surely rattle in fear every time she saw me my friend. I might be small but I can pack a verbal punch but only when required. I seriously can't handle unprofessionalism and ineptitude such as she has displayed 😠
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