So Confused, Can I be the same me again????

[Atenns2]

Hi, everyone seems to say the answer lies with me but if so why? because I used to be a super confident person, high performer, high energy, competitive, outspoken, outgoing. Now I seem to become sloppy, maybe even timid, lacking in courage? seem to have to be propped. No motivation, nearly hopeless. I just feel like a shadow of myself..... How come.............???????? can I ever be the same again???????? Why why why..

[Hidden]

Hello

Why do you feel this way ?

Everyone of us would love to know why we feel this way?

Knowing is a really good start

BOB

[Hidden]

Hello

Sadly I do feel like you,now I am getting older I just feel that my condition has now ran its course,I am now sixty three years old My life consists of many pain medications, and anti depressants, I struggle with my life and now I am unable to do the same things as many of my peers

I now feel if I can get through the final years of my life without the possible risks of suicide I will be happy too die in my sleep.

Now I am actually fed up with taking medications that can just about knock me down,and using strict use in their taking so that I try not to become dazed in their taking.

My disability opens up into depression, anyone in their right mind would understand the whole pain, medication thing can possibly be a great learner in life where medications need to be hidden in case I need to O/D again, that now will not happen as I feel I am on the home run and live my life until the grrim reaper gives the final haircut.

Sadly now I have asked these questions over the last 40 years and I still now cannot get answers, possibly someone out there may know the answers, please tell me ???

[Hidden]

Hi Bob. I am 60 and I feel exactly the same way as you. I just try to survive my life as well and hope to get by without too much trauma and not feeling desperate enough to commit suicide. . Have had my ups and downs over the years like you. I always think this is one of the benefits of getting older. When I was young the thought of the future terrified me - all those years and hassle. Now I have reached the stage of being able to look back on my life much more than looking forward. It's very sad but very comforting as well. You put it very well - on the home run and die in my sleep. That's what I want too. As I have got older I have got much more selfish. I intend to spend the rest of my life doing exactly what I want - I have paid my dues and will only follow my own desires in future. I don't have any answers either. xx

[Hidden]

Hi,

Reading your post sounded so much like me about three years ago. I too was a high flyer and I held a executive position until I was asked to leave my position as I could not longer function. I ended up I think it was 2 weeks later being Hospitalized in a Psychiatrist Hospital as I had become suicidal from chronic pain among other things. I was told I would never be the same again because of my health conditions.

I had to rebuild a new life without the lifestyle my employment gave me, without having my colleagues around me daily which where my family, I lost friends and some family as they just could not cope with me being always unavailable due to being in pain, or needing to sleep or this or that. They had moved on

With the help of a wonderful Psychologist who has held my hand for 5 years I am now happy and I have found my way through the maze. She has encouraged me to find my way, gone to appointments with me, held me when I cried and ticked me off when I needed it.

My Psychologist helped me see that I was grieving for my past lifestyle and Career and when I lived pain free. She was so right as like you, I lost who I was. There is now a new me, one that is slower and muddled up but I have finally just accepted it and I now have a new life.

It is a journey, I feel in which you need support and understanding from those you love you. You need to find what works best for your body for pain relief. Also having a good Doctor who really does care about you and your pain is paramount.

I wish you all the best.

Ruby_Rose

[Atenns2]

Hi Ruby thanks so much. I appreciate your helpful sharing so, so much..\