Okay so I'm new here if that have any relevancy. I just don't know what to do. My mom is old and she hates me, no, it's really not about that teenager phase. Everything I do, everything I say, she makes some gestures that make me feel really bad, she's never encouraging me, I m crying everyday, trying to lift myself up, sometimes it works, sometimes I just want to end everything. I m at college and it is really hard for me to stay sane, study with her making me feel worthless. I just feel like packing my stuff and go to another country, get a job and study there, but I have no money for that. I feel really lonely and I just have this feeling that even if I'm doing good, it's still wrong, like I need approval, like I couldn't know without checking somebody else. This is not me and it's been so long since I feel like this that I have no idea how much time I'm gonna bear with it. She doesn't help me making decisions, she kinda never did, she just nodded, made some strange gestures and say like you are an adult now, you do whatever you want. I don't know what to do. She's really old, like a grandma but a mother, the difference between us is of 40 years.