A long road to recovery...

[miserables]

So I think I have finally admitted to myself that my depression might not shift if I don't take my meds. So tonight - have started and WILL continue I'm glad I waited really until I was ready but I'm dissapoinbted it took me 6 or maybe longer months! After a few very bad weeks I decided I can't change my psast but I can stop it from aFfecting my future...so here it goes. Also palnning to go to quit smoking this weekend hoping I get prescribed champix as smoking brings me no pleasure anymore. One thing I find myself yearning for is a friend, I can't remember the last time I had the comfort of a true friend. But at 26 yrs old how does one find themself with not a friend. And how would I even make friends now? Is it bad to contact old friends after 10+ years?? Very lonely...almost not so lost x

[Hidden]

Hi

I've only just seen your blog - sorry not to have replied before!

I'm sorry you are depressed but if you have meds presumably someone has diagnosed them and it is probably best to take them at least until you are feeling better when you can then go back to the GP and review the situation. It is important to wait until you feel rady - I think it was good that you were able to do that and feel you have a choice rather than simply passively accept what you were given!

I agree - we can't change the past but can change the future - it's hard sometimes to hold onto that knowledge!

Watch giving up smoking at the same time as starting on meds as both of those can make you have physical symptoms and it may increase your stress level to be dealing with two lots of reactions. Why not wait a fortnight until the meds have begun to take effect and then slowly wean yourself off smoking? I reduced every couple of months until I was down to 3 a day and then finally let those drop and it was a painless process whereas trying to give up before I had always failed.

As for knowing how to make friends I can really identify with you on that one although I am 63 years old and not 26. The only way to make friends is to meet new people and that means once the antidepressants have kicked in you need to get out and join in with things. While you are waiting for them to take effect I wonder whether you can think about the kinds of things you have ever enjoyed or imagined you might enjoy. Many years ago I did a 10 year life plan of the things I would have wanted to do during that time if I thought they were possible, then broke it down into the goals I would need to achieve for each thing, then wrote what I'd need to do to get started on the goals and did those things - and would you believe I achieved all the 10 year goals. Often simply allowing ourselves to dream of what we would ideally like and being realistic about how to do the things enables us to do them. Once you are doing things you enjoy doing and mix with people in the process you are more likely to get on with the people around you and so make friends. It is hard to be lonely, but even people who seem happy and have lots of friends do get lonely, it's part of being human. The important thing is to realise that you can make friends and not be lonely all the time. As for contacting old friends, if you want to then why not? The only thing I would say is that if they haven't bothered to contact you they can't have been very good friends can they.

I wonder whether you have a real lack of confidence or perhaps a feeling that you are not worth knowing? If that's the issue then it would help you to talk with a therapist and you can ask your GP to refer you to someone to talk to, ideally at a specialist psychotherapy centre rather than a CMHT where they are likely to offer CBT or similar to deal with your depressed symptoms whereas you need help to understand why you feel badly about yourself.

Suexx