How long have i felt this low now? Nearly 4 long, gruelling months. Admittedly usually i just get out of these moods after a few weeks but this just isnt going. Its not the same. I used to self harm (stopped years back) and i didnt even feel this bad back then.
Nothings getting better!! Ive spent the whole of today with chest pains and a feeling of short breath and i have no idea why! I feel so lousy and i hate feeling like this. My mums the type of person that thinks i'm just feeling sorry for myself and i need to pick myself up but i can't. Ive just simply had enough at this point. I feel pathetic and yet i feel angry with myself for feeling like this.
I honestly don't see how this can even get better tbh. I went to therapy years back, all they wanted is for me to push my limits. I went there and the first session was her telling me to go out on a day trip with my friends - the mere thought sends me into a crying mess. They weren't helpful at all. And when i said i don't think im ready to meet with my friends, they discharged me.
Quite frankly i don't care anymore either, i'm so close to just throwing my notice in and quitting work, whether i have a job lined up or not.
I'm sorry this probably doesn't even make sense as i'm just rambling here quickly on my work break because all i want to do is go home and cry but i can't