BPD Diagnosis!

[Sushi2345]

Today I was diagnosed with BPD. I thought over the past few years I had some traits of this due to compulsive porn use , decisions, relationships etc etc. My mental health is beyond complex and I find it super super depressing . Can anybody relate ?

[Deadpool92]

Haven’t logged on in years but saw this in my emails and reset my password just to reply. I have had no type of diagnosis but the brief description of yours really resonates with me. I use porn every day I actually look forward to it, not happy in my relationship currently, mood swings are wild I can wake up on top of the world and everyone needs to know it but can crash within hours and stay there. Does this sound similar to yourself ? I am all ears for you

[STEM_Dad]

Not me, but I'm pretty sure that my longtime wife (now ex-wife) has mild to moderate BPD. She had a lot of her own struggles with compulsions. (She could become hypersexual sometimes, and seemingly very asexual at other times. She would often binge on game apps, TV shows, social media platforms, or Christmas gift buying for the kids. It varied all the time.)

She could be perfectly normal (too normal) for months or years at a time, then make a series of irrational decisions, some just random (changing hobbies suddenly), some that took a big toll (such as spending thousands and thousands on those hobbies), some self-destructive (damaging relationships... some irreparably).

I've never known anyone so capable of being and doing anything that she put her mind do, who could rally other people to a cause... then one day just give it all up and cut ties with the people that she'd become such good friends with.

I've known her since we were 13 year old classmates together, who became friends, then so much more. I stuck with her through many unpleasant things. And then she falls in love with some guy she met in a video game.

• I probably know more about her better than anyone else alive, and I understand a lot, but there are some things about her that are just so random that I don't think ever understand.

So, I have a good idea that BPD is like. It's like making a pet out of a wolf...it will never be completely tame, it will never be fully domesticated, it will always have a bit of a wild, animal nature to it...which can rise up at any time.

~~~~~

Because I wanted to help her, I did a lot of research into BPD. If you want to do something about it, according to what I've learned, the most effective therapy for it is DBT (dialectical behavior therapy).

Regarding things like sex drive and porn, well, we're men. We are driven by our nature. But we're also civilized, modern men who feel like we ought to be more evolved. Porn addiction is often due to a need for dopamine, to help modulate out brains.

ADHD is somewhat related to BPD. (Many people diagnosed with BPD as adults were diagnosed with ADHD as children.) People with ADHD are more prone than the average neurotypical person to develop addictions, including porn addiction. [I have ADHD, and while I know that I've had problems with being drawn to porn, I don't characterize it as a full blown addiction...but, when my anxiety rises, it gets harder to resist the urge to look at some porn. The healthier I get, the weaker the urges. So, I've made my mental health a priority.]

So, if you do have that double whammy of BPD and ADHD, then get the ADHD treated. Do your best to keep anxiety in check. Practice good self care. And take the time to understand yourself better.

[Sushi2345 in reply to STEM_Dad]

Thanks so much for the info , it does sound so much like me in a way . I never thought I would be BPD believe it or not . Some days I also think to myself it’s a bad demon that’s been following me for many years. Sounds stupid I know. Mental health sucks what can I say. My BPD cost me a lot of things in my life and one thing that was linked to my BPD was porn addiction.

Thanks again 🙏

[STEM_Dad in reply to Sushi2345]

There's one good thing that I have learned about BPD. According to experts, it is highly treatable.

People who have BPD and want treatment can make great improvements over time. Not everyone with BPD thinks that they have a problem, so some continue to struggle with it. I don't think I've read whether it can be cured or not, but my guess would be that it can be reduced, but not fully cured.