Erection questions, 20yo.: Hello, i tried... - Men's Health Forum

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Erection questions, 20yo.

KindGentleman profile image

Hello, i tried to have my first sex a couple days ago, but after MANY random erections when hugging my girlfriend (for two days), I just couldn't get aroused when I finally wanted to. I am confident fit guy, with my gf being lower League than me (sorry if it's rude, but is just like I am not super nervous or embarrassed). Age 20. Now I think I may suffer from over masturbation, cause I usually work on PC and sometimes I masturbated up to like 10 times a day. Before this weekend with my gf I didn't masturbate for like three days and when I desperately needed that erection I tried masturbating and I ejaculated after like 10 secs without only getting half erection. I even told her "sorry I am out of stamina", we tried it with my half erection, didn't work. I got strong self-control so I will quit masturbation needed. But I am not super happy about telling this to my doc. I do not take any medication, only small amount of whey protein. I eat very healthy food, don't drink or smoke (never did), workout 4 times a week.

I am happy for any advice, I can provide more info if needed.

15 Replies

You are not alone ,I have same

Emotions vary. You have to wait. Ask your GF to stimulate you. Try seeing porn etc. Dont worry . Such flacidness happens to all

It’s performance anxiety. As you get more comfortable together, it should go away.

Hope so, but it feels like that I am super nervous about next time we are gonna sleep together. And what it won't work then? I will get even more frustrated...

I know it would probably be better if I would involve her somehow, but shes really innocent (not this type of drunk high school bitch) and even though she had crush on me for like three years before we got together, she is still scared to touch me below chest and so...

Have her give you some oral attention first.

OhHey profile image
OhHey in reply to jimfromcalif

This is clearly performance anxiety. Thinking about it only makes it worse. Not sure where you live, but if it's legal to drink where you live at your age, go for drinks first... not a lot... just like 2 or so. Should make things a little more relaxed.

Concentrate on non-penetrative ways of pleasing her. Forget about what your penis is doing or not doing. Bring her to orgasm with your fingers - THEN see if intercourse feels right for both of you.

Yeah, she´s reacting nicely to licking and mainly to fingers, but i cant really tell if she has orgasms or not.

It feels like she would like it, but i think I may have pushed it in a moment when the atmosphere just wasnt right... But I was sure that I want it and I was sure the would like lit, since she likes fingers, but I couldnt get hard. :(

jimpollard profile image

Two articles on the Forum website for you:

You say you have strong willpower so if you can take a porn break that would be a good idea. Porn has been linked to both erection problems and premature ejaculation so it's certainly worth giving it a try for a bit. Good luck.

Thanks a lot, admin, yeah I think I read that erection issues article, but to me, it felt more like I got hard so many times, that after two days I just couldn't do it anymore. However I posted this to Reddit and guys there were mainly telling me that I was just scared and nervous and that it will go away as I spend more time together, so maybe they are right.

And I will definitely try the "no fap", cause I kinda like challenges plus I feel better for the girl when I am not "cheating" on her by watching porn.


I don't know, I discussed having the intercourse with her, cause I knew it would be her first, I asked her for permission, she said yes. We were foreplaying, cuddling and stuff but I knew I wasn't hard. She went to the bathroom, I tried teasing myself a little, to save the day, but I couldn't get hard. Then I tried rubbing her, still this weird half erection. I penetrated her (she was "deflored"), still half erection. Tried another position, still nothing. I told her this won't work, I am too tired and we called it off.

...Aaaand now I am even more stressed about next time we are gonna sleep together :(

Ok, thanks NOWHARD, this looks like a solid plan, I am gonna take a break from porn definitely, that won't be a problem. Thanks!

It's and age-related effect, when you getting more practice it should become horny with your GF

Relax, this happened to me 32 years ago. Still remember how I felt this day. With time I've discovered that many other have had the same issue. I think that this happens when you think too much about performing well and you really care about the partner. Just try it again but without going for sex. Don't concentrate on sex, just love, lots of foreplay and It will arrive. Don't hide your fears and emotions. Talk to her. Women have an amazing emotional comprehension. She will realize that this happens because you really love her.

By the way, still with the same girl, now my wife and mother of our two sons.

A lot of guys feels the same on their first sex. Especially the level of testosterone will be at the peak when we don't wank for a few days. Even with just one touch on an erected penis will bust out our nuts. To avoid it, try to do not get overexcited. Yet, practice breathing exercises to avoid getting overexcitement.

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