Some help with being alone

[weezer316]

Hello,

First post, referred to a few things after some bad experiences recently with cocaine and really that is only a symptom of a deeper problem.

I am alone, I am 37 and have been my whole life. Since covid became a thing I seem to have went over the edge, in particular in the last 6 months. Been getting out my face largely just to forget how I feel.

The main issues, well 2 really, are I was brought up with an alcoholic single mother and all that comes with that. The other one is just frustration/embaressment/nihlism over never being able to have got a girlfriend. I suppose I am looking for help and advice on how I can accept the second par while I work on the first. It seems very unlikely to change for the rest of my life, while all my mates are married with kids now pretty much. I am stuck alone it seems.

So is anyone else my age and in same situation and how have you coped? What can you recommend beyond getting shit faced to forget how you feel.

[Samson360]

I know exactly what your going through. I was molested by a male cousin when I was 9-11 years old and I know it tremendously affected my idea of normal companionship and although I have had relationships they all feel apart. I have never experienced intimacy with a woman and I have been living alone since my Mom died in 2011. Some people say that they enjoy living alone, but I don't get that. To me it is horrible to not have someone hear to talk to and I get myself in messes because I have too much time to think and yes I've turned to drugs to help me cope. But I am 53 and a part of me still holds out that I may met the perfect roommate. You say it's unlikely to change for the rest of your life. First you have got to stop telling yourself that, my God man, you are only 37 and anything is possible. My solid advice is that you do whatever it takes to not be stuck in that house. Get out and volunteer or get involved with a church. Being alone a lot just gets you stuck in your thoughts, and they can be dangerously negative. I wish you only the best and remember to always be good to yourself...