Thinking about erection virtually instantly kills it

[AidensOwner]

Im fine by myself but on my first time with my boyfriend last night, I went soft the second I thought about/realised I was hard. This reoccured throught the night/morning. Id be focused on him and his actions, then as soon as we went to do something with it, it just went. This made it really awkward because i felt like he may take offence from it and also it also didnt allow for the obvious. I think it was due to being very nervous. Are there any tips to prevent this?

Edit: I never have these issues elsewhere, it was literally the first time

[Hidden]

Assuming you’re an otherwise healthy man in the prime of your life, then it’s probably just a result of pressure that you’re putting on yourself. If it was your first time with your boyfriend then you had probably built things up in your mind and your penis reacted accordingly. Try to relax and let things happen naturally rather than planning epic sexual olympics in advance.

And don’t forget that you don’t need to be fully erect in order to enjoy each other. My wife will quite often begin oral sex on me when I’m still flaccid and it’s great. You only need to be fully erect for penetration which will come in time. Take the opportunity to focus on pleasuring him and his erection. That doesn’t have to involve him penetrating you if that’s not your thing, but it can often be just as satisfying to pleasure someone else as it is to receive the same.

If things don’t improve once you’ve relaxed into the situation with him then obviously speak to your doctor in case it’s a physical issue. But given that you’re not having problems when you masturbate, I wouldn’t panic. Maybe lay off the self-pleasure for a while, just in case you’re expending all your sexual energy without him.

[Hidden]

I don’t think he will take offence. But it’s really important that you both discuss what happened / didn’t happen.