So scared I wet myself

[Smurfitt]

I was involved with a road rage incindent which a boy racer over took a line of traffic, then realised a truck was coming towards him and all the traffic that he was over taking was slowing down for a tractor. Unlucky for me the place he wanted to push his way in was in front of me, I had to brake harshly to let him in and then blasted the horn. The lad didn't like a blast of the horn, he slammed the brakes on and jestured me to pull over. He then decided to slow down so much I had to stop at the side of the road.

This was when I completely panicked, he shot out of the car and started shouting stuff at me. I really became scared and panicked, then felt the horrible feeling of losing control of my bladder and I wet myself. I was completely ashamed of myself and I had frozen up.

The lad was still shouting at me and now was hitting the car but I just had to get away from him and managed to eventually. I didn't even manage to get his number plate.

Needless to say this still haunts me today (it was over a year ago) and is very embarrassing. I'm in my thirty's 6ft, I have played rugby and have done a lot of kickboxing but I have never had this issue.

Please pleade help me, I really don't want this to happen again and potentially in a more embarrassing public place.

[Hidden]

Hi Smurfitt.

These horrible incidents are becoming more and more common for a variety of reasons. Without doubt, it is far from just a UK problem - it's an international phenomenon. Just look at 'YouTube', should you need convincing.

Clearly it has had a profound effect on you (as it would on most of us). Losing control of yourself is always a horrible experience and the worry of maybe doing the same again is extremely stressful. I suffer from both occasional bladder and bowel incontinence and can speak from personal experience.

Please, please do not be embarrassed to see your GP to start with; maybe some form of counselling would be beneficial, and help you come to terms with what has happened and enable you to begin to regain control over this part of your life.

I would urge any driver to at least consider investing in both front and rear 'dashboard cameras'; at least you will then have some evidence, should you be unfortunate enough to be involved in an 'incident' or 'accident'.

I do wish you well and hope you're never again involved in such a frightening incident.

[Smurfitt in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Compton895 for your reply. Unfortunately road rage is a big problem which I can only see getting worse, with more cars on the roads and people with busier lives. As discussed above I can live with the road rage and being shouted at but my main concern was fear and extreme anxiety that made me wet myself. I have peed myself once before this, when I was in a night club and a group of lads tried to start a fight with me but I just walked away. When it happens I can feel my plevic floor muscle and my urethra twitching, in seconds the flood gates open.

Thank you for your understanding words, it has certainly helped just talking about this with other men.

I have only discussed this with my wife, who was of course was very understanding and of course said I should go and see my GP.

I think it is time for me to build up some courage and go to see my GP about this.

Thanks again for your help.

[Hidden in reply to Smurfitt]

A pleasure, Smurfitt. There are many reasons for this nasty development, and you have certainly identified a couple of them.

So pleased you have an understanding wife - that must help enormously - and her advice is without doubt worth heeding. Do please see your GP.

I live in SE London and am driving to Lancashire tomorrow. I am beginning now almost to dread driving, even locally, to say nothing of 'long distance'!!

Look after yourself, and all the very best.

[Smurfitt]

Thank you for your reply. It wasn't so much to do with the road rage, I can live with being shouted at and hitting the car. The main concern was my fear and extreme anxiety that made me wet myself or do you think that this is something psychological? Nevertheless it is time for me to build up some courage and go to see my GP.

[Hidden]

Hi Nowhard!!

Thanks very much for your advice, and I'm pleased to say that is exactly what I will be doing; leaving at 03.00 tomorrow morning to arrive at about 08.30/09.00 for a 100th birthday celebration!! The journey home on Monday, will unfortunately, have to be made during the day....

All the best and thanks again!!

Peter A

[Bbbbbbbbdgh]

Learn self defense or get yourself pepper spray to boost your confidence. Arm yourself non-lethally.

[Bbbbbbbbdgh in reply to Bbbbbbbbdgh]

Even better, buy a bear mace. 100% let you win in any road rage situation in aggressive encouners

[OhHey]

Part of the flight or fight response. You were overtaken with fear and your body reacted as intended. Agreed that the response wasn't desirable, but you can work on that by building your confidence, maybe take self-defense or kick boxing classes, so confrontation is less and less of a terrifying experience. There's nothing physically wrong with you, but the mental state at which you're in may be worth evaluating. The angry man isn't going to find you ever, he's likely forgotten about the incident entirely and moved on... why shouldn't you? Don't forget, in those instances where you feel threatened in your car, you have a 3 ton piece of metal that can accelerate to high speeds in seconds. He wouldn't stand a chance.