Hi everyone- my boyfriend of three years is a type 2 diabetic. He isn’t overweight and takes metformin everyday to manage it. His diet isn’t the best, but we don’t live together so he eats what he likes.
My issue is for the last 18 months he has hardly touched me. His lack of interest in sex is upsetting me so much. I don’t nag him, but I would like him to get checked out. He goes to see a diabetes nurse but refuses to mention it. He just says he’s getting old.
Any thoughts? x
Has he got erectile difficulties? Maybe he is trying to hide it from you (& medics) because he is embarrassed?
No I don’t think so. It’s more the fact that he won’t address the issue, my feelings must be very low on his list of priorities!
Touching doesn't necessarily have to lead to sex. There is always just holding hands/cuddling. Type 2 diabetes can be managed but the person who has it has to "want" to help their selves.Has he been tested for "hypoadrenia" which can have the same symptoms (blood sugar issues).
Being in a relationship requires one to consider their partners feelings. If you don't want to consider that then maybe he needs to rethink what a relationship is to him.
In the U.S. we have "men's clinics" which you can go to "outside" of your normal medical doctor/primary care where men can get "ED" help and even testosterone. You can pay "out of pocket" or file insurance if your so inclined and your insurance covers it.
He needs to have a "complete" blood lad/draw and "ALL" hormones checked. This is never just a blood sugar and blood sugar only problem. As you said, his diet and hormone deficiencies, among other things are playing a big part in is lack of libido.
Thank you. Lots to think about!
First up, well done for coming here for advice. No he is not to old, as many on here will testify, age is but a number and many enjoy sex later into life.The diabetes may be a contributing factor, I believe in the UK, those diagnosed with certain types receive Viagra type drugs on NHS ?
He may have other issues that he does not want to talk about, but talking helps. Point him here as a starting point.
As 'dealsgap' says, touching does not have to lead to sex. So just try it and go a little further each time, from touch and kiss to stroking and kissing other body parts, but not to intimate. Leave him wanting.
Good luck
It sounds as if you expect him to initiate, when it's you who feel the greater need for physical affection. What happens if you start to touch and kiss him? - is he pulling away, or does he start to get aroused? As others have said, if he hasn't much energy for full intercourse, you could stay with oral or hand stimulation. Not many men reject a leaisurely blow-job, and are quite likely to feel grateful enough to reciprocate with clitoral stimulation even if intercourse isn't desired or if they have erection issues.
He pulls away or rolls over in bed or goes to sleep. It’s not the lack of physical action. It’s the lack of interest in doing something about it.
Any chance a close friend or relative can intervene or would he agree to couples therapy?
Not really. He’s a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to stuff like this
Then I have no other suggestions. You seem to have just two stark choices. 1. Continue a sexless relationship or 2. end the relationship.
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