Not excited to go to work …

[DangLifeisHell]

yay it’s Friday…. Last day of the week of work. Excited I get the next 4 days off. It’s hard working with special needs, when your own mental sanity is not in tact. Trying to find something else to do to make money… but not motivated to do anything… everything seems overwhelming… But I have to work as my husband has been out of work for a year now and still has not heard back in months from a job he was suppose to get and thus why we made this huge move… away from family and friends is so hard as they were the only one keeping my mood up here and there during the weekends. Bills just came in and realizing I need to work more…. I miss my youth days when I was happy and positive about life….. thankful we have savings… but gives me anxiety as it dwindles down… Signed into my social security account yesterday and was reminded I won’t be able to retire until I am 70…. Idk if I can keep on for another 37 years…. I’m thankful to be in a better place than I was last year…. But starting to fall into my old habits of hopelessness…. Thanks for listening…. And understanding life is hard….

[Raggedy-Ann]

hi- He is obviously not getting that job. Can you move back? You need to do it before the money runs out. You could use some support. He needs support too. Not working for that long must be depressing or he like you taking care of everything. i think a few sessions of couples counseling might help. I am cheering for you

[Cookie2217]

I'm excited to be off till Tuesday. I work for Children and Families. I was out of work for 8 months and I put out 81 applications and got nowhere I was on Linkedin, Monster, Career Builder and Indeed. It's definitely not easy finding a job out there for some reason. I've worked since I was 16 years old and I'm 54 now 55 this month. I work for the state for 20 years and they treated me like absolute garbage. If you drop dead in the middle of the aisle they just step over you and keep walking. We weren't individuals we were just numbers to fill seats and take cases they didn't care about our well-being whatsoever so I resigned in February of 2023. I made one mistake I didn't have another job lined up and I learned the hard way that you need to do that always. I was on unemployment for 8 months and wound up losing my place to live because I couldn't afford it anymore so I was forced to live in my sister's basement for 10 months. Where did I get depressed there I was so bad that I couldn't get out of bed. It was horrendous. I was in the middle of a four-year battle of depression and suffer with major depressive disorder and have since 2006. I was put on Pristiq, Wellbutrin, Abilify as a booster. And some others my medication stopped working for a while but I was too down to take care of it. Well I was living in my sister's basements that was one of the lowest points of my life I had nothing no money nothing I wound up taking my pension out to survive pay bills and get a car after my car was repossessed. I paid for the car out right so I wouldn't have to worry about making payments. I used the money to live and I began working at a daycare center. I finally found that job on indeed but it took about 4 months for them to hire me permanently. I did leave on good terms so I can always go back if things don't work out with my new job. I now have the opportunity to work with Children and Families in pregnancy just like I did where I used to live but this time I'm working for a non-profit organization instead of the state and it's so much better because they actually care about their employees and their mental health their physical health too. They actually give employees three free counseling sessions per year as they know that the job that we do is very hard. There is a ton of support there and I like each and every person that works there now I wake up happy to go to work and I will work for at least another 6 to 7 years until I'm 62 or 63 depending on my money situation I might have to work longer than that. My husband is on Social Security disability barely makes anything so I am the Breadwinner of the household. This gives me a lot of pressure too I was calling you a lot when I was depressed and almost lost the daycare job but I didn't because I was honest with my boss and she told me that she would work with me and she did she was a pretty good boss as well at the daycare center. The only thing I'm afraid of now is that I'm still a little slow on learning their computer programs I feel like a dinosaur I knew the programs at the state very well and were able to navigate them but where I live now it's totally different so I have to learn new ones it's a bit intimidating and scary and they're sending me for extra computer training so they are putting stock in me and wanting me to succeed at least I have that but I don't want to fail anyone or get fired because I can't keep up. That is my fear right now. I bring my laptop home over the weekend and practice with it as practice makes perfect. My boss has also said that I need to check my email more during the day all the time so I don't miss important emails which makes me feel bad too. She's so fast on the computer and is a type A personality she calls herself she needs to be very organized. I'm pretty organized as well but I feel like I'm screwing up in front of her because I'm nervous which sucks I'm usually not like that but I want this job to work out so badly and it pays pretty well for where I'm living. You see at the state they want you out after you turn 50 because they don't want you to reach retirement cuz they don't want to pay you that much money or your medical benefits for the rest of your life so they do whatever they can to get you out. In my case they used my asthma condition against me and even though it's against the law they began asking me for doctors notes each and every time I was out. Will need to say they pushed me to the Limit I couldn't take it anymore so I resigned I was tired of being taken advantage of and completely burnt out. I had eight long months to think long and hard about my decisions and realize that I jumped the gun because I tried the entire time I was unemployment to get a job and maybe it's because I'm 54 now that nobody really wants me. I feel very blessed and lucky to have found a job where I live I do have to drive about 40-45 minutes to work but that's okay I do my thinking about life and such on the road to and from work. I love listening to the music in the radio join my ride too. I totally get what you are saying in your post and relate 100%. It's really hard when you're the only one working believe me I know. You have to step up and become the breadwinner and all the pressure of that adds up and causes stress. I don't think that you need couples counseling per se I don't think it's your husband's fault that he's not working either I think it's just a hard market right now but if he's not on all four of those forms that I referenced earlier LinkedIn, monster, career builder, indeed I would definitely recommend him doing that and indeed is pretty good that's where I found my jobs. I hope that things work out for you and Things become a little easier for you I wish you peace and well-being. Take care

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Cookie2217]

I really appreciate your insight and background of your life. And admire your dedication to keep on living and working. He finally had my permission to use some of our savings money to make his own business again and is very motivated. But being overwhelmed I want to help but also don’t want to hear about it. At least your work is giving you options to succeed and I am sure they understand your trying your best. Maybe set alarms for yourself to check your emails every few hours. As long as you show improvements and don’t make the same mistakes over and over again, I think you’re doing just fine You take care of yourself as well. Happy Labor Day.

[Cookie2217]

Thank you so much. Hope you had a Happy Labor Day as well.