I want to feel happy 20 F

[hocuspocus22]

I’m new to this platform after reaching out to a suicidal hotline and them giving me this support group as help.

I am constantly depressed. Some days I can go on with life with a fake smile on my face, numb to my inner emotions. However some days are unbearable and I will sleep as long as I can and stay in bed to avoid reality. When I wake up I cry for hours in bed. I don’t have many friends and it’s really hard at my age seeing everyone I went to high school with, happy and loving their new lives with new friends.

I never left home I stayed and went to a local community college because of money costs. So I am unable to really meet new friends.

I was on medication antidepressants for about two years but I got off of them a few months ago when I moved in with my dad, because he doesn’t believe in medicine. I honestly don’t think it was helping either because I still felt the same way as I do now. As I have for about the past 5 years or so.

Does anyone have any advice about ways I can over come this depression? I want to be happy. I want to stay for my family. For my little sister. Sometimes I just do not feel strong enough.I would really appreciate any advice

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hey welcome. I suggest you talk to a dr. preferably a psychiatrist. When you are scraping the rocks with the tide going out, you need to do what might work. Try a new medication or combination of medications. I suggest checking into mental health ward, you will feel safe and be around others who understand. It is nice to take the pressure off. I have two close friends from different places. You could start new meds in a medical setting where there is always someone when you are struggling. I also takes the pressure off your family for a few days. You and I have an illness that attacks your will to live. Would you tell someone with a heart condition to stop taking their meds? No. Depression kills. Take care of you and today change your sheets. We the depressed tend to spend a lot of time in bed. hugs

[hocuspocus22 in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

thank you for reply I appreciate it greatly

[Zhangliqun]

The first thing is to find out what's causing it, whether internal, external or (as is often the case, certainly true of me) both.

Just getting that zeroed in makes a difference because it is no longer an amorphous phantom but a concrete thing you can focus on and therefore fight.

[hocuspocus22 in reply to Zhangliqun]

Do you have any advice on how to figure out what’s causing it? I myself sometimes find that I don’t understand why I get so sad

[Zhangliqun in reply to hocuspocus22]

Gotta find out if it's biochemical, childhood or other trauma, or some combo. Counselor and or psychiatrist is the best way to go.

[Trainchaser]

Welcome to the group it has helped me a lot. Seems you have a lot going on. I have had mental health issues since a teenager now 63. Hard seeing your friends move forward and you are stuck. You got your whole life ahead of you and it overwhelmed you scare that your are going to be this way for a long time. Know that you are not alone and hopefully can find someone in this group around your age going through what you are going through. If you every want to chat more let me k ow. Hope your day today was better. All the best Rick

[hocuspocus22 in reply to Trainchaser]

Thanks Rick I appreciate it a lot

[luxlisbon99]

hi hocuspocus <3 i hope you are doing way better now than when you posted this. i just joined this platform today and im also 20, going through almost exactly what you described here..i would love to chat with you if youd be interested :')