Feeling a bit hopeful

[Soulhurts]

I'm farlirly new here and posted a couple months ago when I was feeling hopeless. I've been on antidepressants for 27 yrs. In that time they've "pooped out" twice. The second time being last fall. I've tried four different meds since then & am currently on Zoloft & Abilify. I am still having a difficult time managing my depressive sx's & negative thoughts but feel a little bit of relief from the days I had no hope, felt suicidal & could barely function. Im on FMLA at work which takes some pressure off. Also it's now Spring with more days that the weather is nice so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. Today I took a day off, I'm a MH case mgr. It feels good to be able to rest from trying to help others who have the same issues as me & having to fake it at work. I've got four more yrs til early retirement so I'm hoping I can hold out. I wish i could learn how to change my negative thinking. It's so automatic. It makes everything worse, so I'm trying different ways to adjust that. I've always had low self esteem & it is ingrained in my brain.

[gajh]

I am so glad that you are feeling a bit hopefully. How long have you been on the Zoloft and Abilify? Hopefully if it hasn't been long, you will continue to notice improvement as time goes on. I am learning about ACT Acceptance and commitment Therapy and with that it is not about changing your negative thinking it is about observing the negative thoughts from a distance and then choosing your actions based on your values not on the negative thoughts. It is helping me so much.