Thoughts on cognitive behavioral therapy?

[Icecream1954]

I'm so worn out from trying to get well from this depression and anxiety. I think I've had it all my life and was able to cope when I was younger, but now I'm 70 and it's like something snapped in my brain. Don't respond to anti-depressants, therapy and ketamine didn't work and now I'm trying microdosing. My psychiatrist has talked to me about ECT, and I'm so scared of it. It's hard to feel any hope....every day is a struggle just to get through. I try to keep myself busy, but don't have much interest in anything or find joy anywhere. I feel so alone. I have a couple of friends who have been supportive, and my husband tries his best, but I'm such a mess. One of my doctors and my sister have been hounding me about trying cognitive behavioral therapy. It seems very confusing to me. I understand the idea is to change how you think about things, but I don't know how to do that. I tend to have catastrophic and negative thoughts....and I know it plays a big part in my depression and anxiety. Does anyone have any experience with CBT? Thanks

[Livetorunruntolive]

CBT can be helpful for some people for sure. It has had a little bit of benefit on my thinking. I have done ECT - it worked very dwell in 2005. It slowly wore off and I was hospitalized twice in 2 months in 2022. I tried ECT again in Jan 2023 and just had 0 positive results. Everybody is different. I believe in God and that I will one day be in paradise. If you don’t know Jesus my best advice is to pick up a Bible and read the book of John. Pray for wisdom and an open heart to the truth.

I know how painful this life can be. Ultimately this is not our true home and nothing will fully satisfy. I really hope you can find the One true hope.

[Icecream1954 in reply to Livetorunruntolive]

Thank you for your thoughts. I pray daily for guidance...

[Whoami1997]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I had to change meds and therapists until I found one that fit my needs. I have had extensive CBT and it helped a lot. Now, I am doing EMDR with my therapist which is intense because it helps to resolve any unresolved trauma I have failed to discuss with other therapists. Mine specializes with trauma so I hope this will help. Please look into therapists that will help you with your issues. I wish you all the best.

[Icecream1954 in reply to Whoami1997]

Thank you so much....I've changed meds several times and will be starting an intensive outpatient program soon (not sure if that will be helpful, but I think they incorporate CBT in their program). I've done EMDR in the past and it did help with some trauma.

[Zhangliqun]

I guess I've been doing some of my own home-grown CBT for decades now, especially the thought replacement part. (Just couldn't afford the counseling.)

It works.

The key, at least for me, is at the foundational level, you have to get that all these negative thoughts and emotions are lies. As long as you believe they are true, all is lost.

So the question is are they true? More on that in a moment.

Some concrete examples of thought replacement for me is if I have an anxious or negative thought and it clearly has no rational basis (some negative thoughts do have a rational basis, like, gotta pay those bills, gotta avoid that dangerous part of town, etc), I will push it out and replace it with something pleasant.

I like fall foliage so if I can, I'll look up pictures of it online. I also like the positive constructive atmosphere of a hardware store, so sometimes I might just go to one and walk around and maybe be inspired to do some minor home projects. I like lop-eared rabbits so I'll look up pictures of them or maybe go to see some at a pet store. Or maybe a trip down memory lane of pleasant things from times gone by.

The behavioral part matters too. I tend to screw up my face and scrunch my shoulders when I'm anxious. If I force myself to relax face and shoulders, I immediately feel better. It comes back then I push back and on the cycle goes on until the length of time between recurrences gets steadily longer.

Don't expect much from any of this right away because it will be difficult at first and you'll want to quit. Just keep plugging and soon it will be come second nature. And above all, never make an idol of your feelings as if they are the indicator of what's real. Mood disorders are proof that feelings are not always reliable.

But on the big question from earlier: Is it true that life is pointless, meaningless and hopeless and entropy, decay, destruction and despair ultimately rule all?

If we are just matter and energy, then yes. We are all just sandcastles at low tide waiting for the tide to come in, to which the only rational response is despair.

But the fact that we are so instinctively, violently repulsed by such a thought is one of many clues that Livetorunruntolive is onto something...

[Icecream1954]

Thank you for your beautifully written thoughts....I have such a hard time stopping the negative thinking. The thoughts seem to be hardwired into my brain. And you're right....I believe all my thoughts, and I'm trying to learn to question them. It's confusing to me. My concentration and ability to process information has been affected by the anxiety and depression....so while I try to grasp the concepts, they seem to disappear like wisps of smoke. It's hard to explain....may be part of a learning disability that I recently realized I've always had. I know there's a spiritual piece of the puzzle as well, and in the past I've felt close to God....but the experiences I've had in the last few years have really shaken that.