Hopeless

[Soulhurts]

I'm getting so hopeless that this depressive episode(6 months)is not going to lift. It feels like I am stuck & this is who I am now. Worthless, hopeless, nothing to look forward to. Work, couch, overeat, sleep, repeat. Gaining weight which worsens depression & increases self loathing. Im seeing a provider for meds & counseling. This is the second time anti depressants just stopped, but last time I just switched & it helped. This time I'm on my third different med. What's the sense to keep trying. Like sux

[gajh]

Well now you are here with us. I know that talking with people who understand really helps me. I hope you find it as helpful.

[blackcat64013]

Hi Soulhurts,

Thank you for your post which reminds us about recurring major depression episodes (MDEs) and medication stopping or "pooping out".

It seems you and I are in the same situation. I can never say that I have recovered 100%.

MDEs are frequent visitors in my life and seem to occur with less time between them.

My doctor and I have a good working relationship so we have been able to, after 5 trials of meds, to come up with a combination that minimises the most troubling symptoms.

The residual symptoms like insomnia, brain fogs and apathy are better some days than others.

Life does suck at times but hope for a better tomorrow keeps me going. 💜 🐈‍⬛

[Cookie2217]

Hi there. Your post spoke directly to me for sure you and I are two peas in a pod let me tell you. This past battle depression that I've been in has lasted 4 years and it's been the longest of my entire life and in the past year I've lost my job and then my place to live and I'm now living in my sister's basement and I'm practically homeless so I have no place else to go but up from here because it's brought me to my knees. Right now I'm on Pristiq 100 mg and Abilify 10 mg and they've stopped working and don't do a damn thing for me and having for quite some time and I don't have medical insurance right now so it's hard for me to get a psychiatrist and a therapist so I'm just kind of trudging along trying to keep my head above water. Some people in my family and friends have tried Prozac and it's helped them so I want to try that now. When I was younger between the ages of 18 and 21 I was hospitalized three separate times for our suicide attempts and nothing seemed to help I was in such a towel spin I actually began to think that I was becoming paranoid that people were talking about me because of all the ambulances coming and all of that drama. It wasn't true of course but it was part of the mental illness coming out and back then I didn't believe in therapist or psychiatrist or medication so I never followed through a treatment but somehow I made it out of that I went back to school for psychology cuz I wanted to know why I was so screwed up. I had a very tumultuous childhood and have a lot of trauma from that so I suffer with self-loving as well and I can love someone so much but when it comes to loving myself no can do I just can't seem to do it right I don't think I'm worth it I don't think I'm important enough etc etc my Saving Grace though is my husband Paul has been so supportive of me throughout this battle we've been married for 18 years and he really meant it when he vowed to be there through thick and thin for better for worse for richer for poor and in sickness and health because he's been through the worst of it with me and his at his within because he doesn't know what to do to help me but I have to learn to help myself and just even though I don't want to get out of bed in the morning just do it and why wouldn't I want to get up it's one more day I have to spend with my wonderful husband and my cat Bella who I love so much and if I think about it we only go around once so we might as well make it count right. Sorry this post is so long but I just identified with a lot of things that you said in your post and I wanted to share a little bit of my own story with you so you knew that I understood where you were coming from so sorry for the long read LOL please keep in touch and let us know how your doing ok. And if nobody has told you lately you are enough, you are worthy and you are beautifully and wonderfully made because God makes no mistakes try and remember that when you're feeling low. Wishing you peace and well-being. Take care.