I could get better but I'm not and I'm so sick of trying

[CroutonBehavior]

Since my last appointment, I've put my brain on pause. I haven't trusted any of the psychiatrist's I've seen and all I want is an antidepressant. Things have gotten too overwhelming to process. Whenever I have a feeling I feel like I have to make it stop. So I've just roamed around like a zombie for 3 weeks. I can barely remember what day it is but I still feel like this entire year has gone to waste.

I just wake up, walk around aimlessly, and wait for a psychiatrist appointment. I've gotten no real help or relief my entire life. I am beyond alone and I can't do it without help but I have no viable options for help. So I just spin around in circles trying to do it all alone.

I know it could get better but I can't see a reason to get there. Nothing is important to me anymore. I feel like on a chemical level I physically cannot bring myself to feel hope. It's not a decision I'm making. I have not felt hope in months.

[DM1981]

I hear you and even though we have never met and do not know each other, I care. We seem to have some similarities my dear friend. I am here for you.

[ladybugsonlemons]

I totally get you u went through that for year and I'm by no means better but I went on prozac and it makes me feel no better I just because sort of robotic and it also makes me confused but I genuinely think it's something to look into after years of nothing happening

[bluejay67]

I appreciate your honesty. You speak for me, too.

[Rufus07]

I to feel like there is no hope for me and I’m tired of trying. I just figure this is how the rest of my life will be. Everything I used to enjoy I could care less about. Not many things are important to me either. I feel numb most of the time. So many things I don’t care about, and not for the better, and it makes me feel like a horrible person. My partner asks what happened to the girl he fell in love with and I just don’t know. Just wanted you to know that I know exactly how you feel. You are in my thoughts.

[Raggedy-Ann]

I suggest talking with your Dr. ask about options. Look at your diet too, eating healthy did give me a bit of a lift. All the preservatives, and chemicals can change the way you feel.

[JuneBugsMom46]

Try Lucinda Bassett's books. You have to retrain your brain to get out of the repetitive negative thinking that is keeping you where you're at. There are "methods/training" (by various authors) that will take you out depression/anxiety. You just have to find the one that fits for you. You can find them online or at the library. Good Luck!